"I'm not the Jedi I should be."

Anakin realized this as a young man. He wanted to be good. Dubbed "The Chosen One", he had quite a moniker to live up to. Whether that set him up for failure, who can say.

I know a lot has been written about this topic. I don't mean to rehash already touched-upon ideas, but I know that is what I'm going to end up doing, at least in part . In my last blog, "Blood Is Thicker Than Water", I pondered what would make an individual striving to be good succomb to his/her dark side. Would it be an event or series of events that pushed one over the edge? I don't deny events play a role, but is there not some other force thrown into the mix that has even a stronger influence?

I think I got my answer this morning.

My daughters are teenagers, and have been tending to their own morning rituals for years now ( - a two-edged sword). Thus, I'm able to sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee and the newspaper in the morning. I dispensed with the straight news sections, and it was time to turn to the "Puff Page" where I get my daily dose of destiny - my horoscope - my daily dose of advice - "Dear Abby" - and challenge my brain with the array of word puzzles.

I do not make a habit of reading columns (I save what limited free time I have to devote to reading insightful pieces for your musings ), but this morning I made an exception. How could I pass up a column with the headline "To deny our dark side is to feed it" (written by an area psychotherapist)?

Okay, the column was not about either Anakin or Jacen, but the author's words rang oh so true - considering what happens to both of them (particularly Anakin). "All of us are flawed, harbor secrets and exercise poor judgement on occasion," he stated, but that was only the beginning. The following excerpt was what reeled me in, instantly making me think of Anakin . . .

"Psychoanalyst Carl Jung theorized that every person has a shadow, a part of their psyche that they repress, deny or ignore.
"Often, this shadow harbors impulses, fantasies and desires that are inconsistent with one's public persona and self view and, therefore, are kept hidden from others. According to Jung, healthy personal development requires uncovering and confronting one's shadow - basically, admitting it's there, examining it and then coming to terms with it.
"Those who fail to do so unwittingly invest their shadow with greater power to interfere with and even control their lives. Paradoxically, the failure to acknowledge and face one's mental demons enables them to emerge in destructive and often clandestine ways.
". . .Recognizing one's shadow does not mean giving it free reign to run (or ruin) one's life. . .Ironically, people like (Anakin), who not only (try to) deny their dark side but also make a career of doing so, are at greatest risk of succumbing to its ongoing sabotage. Seemingly bright lights often cast the darkest shadows.
"Like any underlying psychological force, the shadow in each of us has a role to play in our development. Make space for it in your life, or it will find a way to carve out its own."

Perhaps the Jedi Council's greatest failure of all was in not accepting the fact that everyone - including Jedi - have a dark side. I can't help but believe that Yoda knew of the Dark Side - intimately - and yet was able to rise above its lure. Encouraging one to follow the Light Path is all fine and good, but spouting warnings such as "If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will . . ." (to Luke in ESB) do little to help a young Jedi understand why one should overcome dark callings.

Even Obi-wan was familiar with the Dark Side. Watch his reaction to witnessing Qui-gon's tragic death, and examine the vengeance with which Obi-wan fights Darth Maul. Obi-wan is no passive Jedi here!

I'll throw one "if only" into the mix here. If only Anakin had taken Padme's suggestion to heart, that they seek Obi-wan's help, maybe Anakin would not have made the decision he made . . . to turn to the Dark Side. Like so many of us, Anakin believed his only course of action was to face his conflicting emotions alone, that no one would understand or be able to help. "We don't need his help," Anakin responded. He was adamant to go it alone.

Who knows if Obi-wan would have been able to help. Maybe he would have been able to because, even though the Jedi profess to be void of close feelings for others, Obi-wan loved both Qui-gon and Anakin. "You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you," Obi-wan cries out before leaving Anakin on Mustafar. It's clear Anakin loved Obi-wan as well (even if he never said those words). "I hate you!" Anakin spat. Hate is the flipside of love. There is no hate if there is no love.

Just as Palpatine explained, "Anakin, if one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects . . .", this morning's column noted, "emotionally healthy people acknowledge and grow to accept both aspects in themselves." Anakin waged a silent battle within himself. His downfall - and, perhaps, that of the entire Jedi Order - could be pinned on the simple conclusion that the Jedi refused to acknowledge - and accept - each individual's dual personality.

Well, my cup of coffee has grown cold. Thanks for spending these moments with me. As is always the case, I welcome your comments.

Have A Great Day!
MTFBWY
JMW