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Anakin's Yellow Starfighter
date posted: Sep 08, 2005 7:20 PM  |  updated: Sep 08, 2005 8:18 PM
Star Wars Fantasy Football Scouting Report
It's that time again and it is time to get your starters in order and your teams set to win it all. So you've all had your draft, but who do you want out on that field for kickoff. Our very own analyst, ex-star Tight End Mace Windu breaks it down for you.

QB: This may well be the toughest decision you have all season. The two hottest Quarterbacks in the league this year are Darth Vader (Siths) and Anakin Skywalker (Jedi Knights). One is a seasoned veteran and in one you have a highly talented young upstart. Both have excellent instincts and wamp rat-like reflexes. The biggest problem you will have with Vader is his limited mobility, but he more than makes up for it in his power and ability to read the defense. Young Skywalker is still a little arrogant - though a few more seasons may cure that. Your best bet: the still-proven Vader.

RB: If you are stuck with a head to head meeting on your first week between Darth Maul (Siths) and Han Solo (Rogues), you have yourself quite a game. Maul sllices through lines like he's sporting double-bladed lightsabers on both hips. His acrobatics give defenses headaches, not to mention the spikes protruding from his head. Solo on the other hand is more of a smoothie. While Maul has the force going for him, Solo calmly states "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side." Solo's blaster by his side comes in the form of tackle Chewbacca who provides an impenetrable wall for his sidekick who has scored on nearly all of his carries. This matchup: Stick with the blaster.

WR: Always dangerous is the twin combo of Jacen and Jaina Solo (Jedi Knights) who stepped in when Uncle and Mom, Luke & Leia, retired last year. Jacen almost seems to have his mother's knack of negotiating with every defensiveman around and slide by for a touchdown. Jaina, by contrast, roughs her way past cornerbacks who continue to underestimate this female. If you are lucky enough to get them both on your team, start them both. General Grievous (Siths) has a multitude of arms, legs, etc. to bring in a pass, so don't forget this guy when setting your starting lineup if you have an open slot.

K: This is a role often overlooked by the fantasy scouts, since this year, as always, there is hardly a contest. R2-D2 (Droids) has been around since the Republic was born but he has yet to miss a kick - last year sending a rocket through the uprights from 88 yards. The future Hall of Famer is worth 3 points almost every time his team gets the ball. That's credits in the bank.

Bonus
Who's going to take home the Galactic Cup
(insert drum roll here)

Coach Kenobi's Jedi Knights should be able to best most opponents with ease. C3PO's Droids are still struggling with frenetic buzz droids who have already earned a rap sheet with Commissioner Yoda for taunting and Lando's Rogues seem to be a little too laid back for serious competition (Coach Lando himself is often seen during games schoomzing the cheerleaders). So the only real threat comes from old Coach Palpatine's Siths. This will be a close one, but, to use the cliche, I think Good will triumph over Evil this year.

  Diviner525
In the Flesh
date Posted: Sep 08, 2005 7:40 PM
Oh man, this is one the coolest entries I've seen. I'm still laughing, but in all honesty, I'm also thinking, okay so who would I want on my team.

One Question: How can Yoda and Palpatine NOT be the opposing coaches!!

D525.
  XWING_FIVE
Anakin's Yellow Starfighter
date Posted: Sep 08, 2005 7:45 PM
Yoda coached for a while, but "Tired he was of walking the sidelines." Besides this way, he can keep ol' Empy honset (or honest-er.)
The Dark Moose
Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Sep 08, 2005 7:57 PM
LOL - I love this idea. I wish there was actually a way to play Star Wars Fantasy Football.

I think you do it by matching characters to their respective players. Terrell Owens is definitely Anakin Skywalker. Yoda...well he's a little harder to place ... :0)
  XWING_FIVE
Anakin's Yellow Starfighter
date Posted: Sep 08, 2005 8:00 PM
Tom Landry maybe?? Wise he was. Good question.
  Sol Kassar
Ramblings from the Detention Center (Startled)
date Posted: Sep 09, 2005 8:27 AM
Regardless, you can put the greatest all-star SW team together and they still wouldn't be able to stop the NE Patriots. As they displayed last night against the Raiders - yeah Randy Moss is Randy Moss, but you need a whole lot more than 2 catches for 102 yards to beat the Pats!!!!
  Darthshadow900
Somewhat indegestible...
date Posted: Sep 10, 2005 7:09 PM
Haha. Brilliant.
  jedi_beth93
The best star wars humour site ever
date Posted: Sep 13, 2005 10:16 AM
i don't do american football, cus i am english n proud, but i do soccer so here is my 4-3-3 formation star wars style!

Goal: Chewie
Defense
Left: Tarrful
Centre l: Dex
Centre r: Boss Nass
Right: Ki-adi-mundi
Midfield
Left: Boga!
Centre: Mace
Right: Yoda
Upfront
Left: Qui-gon
Centre: Anakin
Right Obi-wan
  XWING_FIVE
Anakin's Yellow Starfighter
date Posted: Sep 13, 2005 2:06 PM
Ahhh, the ORIGINAL football. Cheers to ya! Good lineup, but no Jar-Jar??;
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