There it is again. That laughter. That snickering.
I concentrate on my music.
It's a nice song, Anakin's Theme. It starts out softy, then grows through the strains. I try to let it fill my mind, but in the background, I hear them mocking me.
I miss a note. I played an A; It should have been an A flat. I never miss notes, not on Anakin's theme. I could play it in my sleep! They did that on purpose, didn't they? Now, I'm angry. i don't let them see that. Instead, I switch to playing Duel of the Fates, and vent my anger through the fast aggressive measures. The song ends, and I go to play it again. And again, and again. Finally, the bell rings: End of flute lesson. On to the next class. That scum who call themselves human are already gone.
The rest of the day is normal, unfortunately. Then comes period seven: German class. I like German; it's one of my favorite classes. Rather, it would be if it weren't for those four. I brought my book, X-Wing: The Krytos Trap, into class with me. That was stupid. Now they're saying things like: "Why can't you just watch the movies?", "Ugh! Another Star Wars book?! How can you read those?!" and "You know, my five year old brother watches Star Wars. They're for little kids." Now that does it. They're crazy if they think a five year old could, or even should read X-Wing. A little kid couldn't possibly understand the true meanings of Star Wars. A child could not comprehend all of the intense themes, and epic struggles: They watch it because it looks cool. By now, I'm seething, and I want my flute. I want it so I can play Duel of the Fates about fifty times, and so I can smack my German classmates so hard, it'll liquefy their brains. Of course, I don't have it, so I try to hide behind my book. This attempt fails, but I only have to suffer a little while linger; class is about to start. Thank God. Now I just have to get through the rest of the class, the rest of the day, and the rest of the year...

This was me four months ago. If you think that's bad, you should have seen me two years ago. I was so afraid of being mocked for being a Star Wars fan that nobody even knew, save my closest friends. I never, ever did anything, said anything, wore anything, or read anything that might have betrayed the fact that I was in love with Star Wars. Last year, I decided, What the Mustafar? Why shouldn't they know? That year was hard. This year, up until a few months ago was even harder. But would I go back? Would I change my decision to declare I was a Star Wars fan? Not on your life. I can deal with it now. It still stings, when they tell me how shameful it is for me to like Star Wars. It will always sting a little; hearing people mock anything you love is always painful. But the pain is subdued, shorter, and I don't play Duel of the Fates much anymore.

Star Wars was come along way in two years. It's grown and expanded. There are more stories, more characters, and most important of all, more fans. Star Wars isn't the only thing that's changed for the better. May 19, 2005 was only two years ago, but at the same time, it was eons ago. I was only a little girl, only just beginning to discover one of the best things that had ever happened to her. Today, May 19, 2007, I know a lot more than I did then. Both about Star Wars and about life and each has taught me something about the other. My only regret is that as I sat in that theater two years ago watching the words "a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far" away flash up on the screen, I had no idea that my life was just beginning.

It's amazing how much Star Wars music applies to our lives: even as I type this blog, I'm singing Victory Celebration.

"The circle is now complete"

Happy Completed Circle Day!
-CDS