Star Wars: Blogs | Hard to see, the dark side is | Ewoks: cute and snuggley, right?

Hard to see, the dark side is

by: Dark-Jedi25

date posted: Oct 26, 2006 11:50 AM

Ewoks: cute and snuggley, right?

I was reading FAN4YRS's blog on Ewoks titled "Return of the Jedi" without Ewoks? at http://blogs.starwars.com/rebel-ramblings1977-1983/108 and it got me thinking...

What would the Ewoks have been like in a PG-13 or R rated version of ROTJ? I think that they may have lost some of thier "cuteness" appeal.

Imagine seeing this version of when our heros were brought to the Ewok village for a "dinner party"...

There is an Ewok sitting in the corner knawing the meat off of a human femor (with blood and grease matting the fur on his chin.) From a nearby branch, there are quartered and skinned Storm-Trooper carcassas that have been partially dismembered and placed on spits. (YUCK!)

http://blogs.starwars.com/EvilJJBinks/4

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	rj_peters Memos from the Imperial Finance Department
date Posted: Oct 26, 2006 11:58 AM I'm just about finished reading Solo Command. In that book, there is an Ewok who has been artificially given greater intelligence through nefarious means. When he's freed, he doesn't quite eat people but he speaks Basic and he definitely wouldn't have minded some revenge against his tormentors.

	The Stooge Star Wars Joke-A-Day
date Posted: Oct 26, 2006 12:11 PM If only there were some deleted scenes from ROTJ, showing what happened to the heads which previously occupied that Ewok helmet-drum set...

Dark-Jedi25
Hard to see, the dark side is

date Posted: Oct 26, 2006 12:18 PM

I just had another thought on this... maybe the ewoks didn't really want to eat the Humans, but were trying to intimidate them as a reaction. It wouldn't surprise me if the Storm-Troopers had been eating barbicued ewok for dinner. Based on the field rations we see Luke having on Degoba in ESB, I would bet that the Trooper's issued food supply probably left something to be desired.

	Dark-Jedi25 Hard to see, the dark side is
date Posted: Oct 26, 2006 12:28 PM Now, chewbaka, on the other hand.... I might be tempted to try a wookie-kabob, too. Chewbacca would probably be all stringy and tough though, considering how old he was.

	usetheforce19 MasterMonkey13
date Posted: Oct 26, 2006 1:27 PM If only there were some deleted scenes from ROTJ, showing what happened to the heads which previously occupied that Ewok helmet-drum set... Exactly! May the Force be with us all! God bless!

	darthpateo
date Posted: Oct 26, 2006 3:10 PM you might be right, but everyone would rather think of them as cute and snuggly. so its probably a good thing that they left out any disgusting practices by the ewoks.

	FAN4YRS A Rebel's Ramblings
date Posted: Oct 26, 2006 4:19 PM That's disgusting

	Son of a Bith The Cantina Corner
date Posted: Oct 26, 2006 8:45 PM Maybe that cute little leather hood thing that Wicket is wearing in that picture is actually made out of human flesh!!!

	amidalooine The Emotional Galaxy
date Posted: Oct 27, 2006 9:46 AM I shudder to think what the Ewoks would be like in an R-movie. Cults. Ritual sacrifices. Ewok nudie bars... Sodom and Gomorrah on Endor... No thank you!

	Dark-Jedi25 Hard to see, the dark side is
date Posted: Oct 27, 2006 11:29 AM Maybe that cute little leather hood thing that Wicket is wearing in that picture is actually made out of human flesh!!! LOL

	Lord Harald The Council of Evil
date Posted: Oct 28, 2006 12:11 PM I wouldn't eat wookiee-meat, too difficult to chew(ie).

axel droma
axel droma

date Posted: Oct 31, 2006 2:34 AM

anyone for some "stormtrooper on-a-stick". don't forget the wookie cookies for desert.

I've been waiting for somebody else to blog about what might have happened to the other parts of the stormtroopers that did not make it into the musical instrument category.

I bet the ewok's considered the speeder scouts as fast food.

I know what "rocky montain oysters" are but I think we could probably live without the knowledge of what "endor mountain oysters" would be.

	DarthRaven589
date Posted: Nov 01, 2006 3:27 PM I'll never look at an ewok the same way again...

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