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In the Flesh
by: Diviner525
date posted: Sep 05, 2005 7:59 PM  | 
updated: Aug 14, 2006 9:10 PM
You said WHAT to WHO?!!
Palpatine's reactions to some misplays by his apprentices. Of course, he did not handle failures well.

Palpatine's reaction to Darth Maul allowing the Queen to escape from Tatooine.
"Son of a Wookie!! You go all the way to Tattooine, locate the Jedi, locate their ship, and you go after them . . on a freaking scooter bike?! How you gonna stop that ship if they take off?! With nasty thoughts? Foul language?! We wait all this time to spring on the Jedi and you go out there and completely wiff. I mean seriously, nothing. No Jedi. No Queen. Nothing! Rrrrrgh. Just go practice your lightsabre. Just get outta my sight. I'll figure something out, maybe that goon Viceroy on Naboo has drummed something up."

Palpatine's reaction that Darth Tyranus told Jango Fett his actual Sith name.
"You told Fett your name was Tyranus?! For the Love of Destruction! Don't you think he'll blab that to somebody?! You couldn't just make something up? Like say, I don't know, Polythemus or Hypogluttonous! Anything! Well, we've got Kamino erased from the Archives so that's good. As long as Fett stays on Kamino we should be good - but if he goes lollygagging around the galaxy, we got trouble mister."

Palpatine's reaction that Darth Tyranus told Obi-wan that the Senate was under the influence of a Sithlord.
"In the name of Corruption!! Why would you tell a Jedi that I'm the Chancellor?! For Plague's sake, man!! We're trying to be mysterious here! Dark Deathbed!! Why not just pin a sign on my back that says SITH FOR HIRE. Luckily, you told the one Jedi that follows the GFFA Handbook to the very letter - so we'll be aa'ight."

Palpatine's reaction to Darth Vader telling him that the Death Star has been destroyed at Yavin 4.
"Sweet Bane's feet!! What?! Well, didn't Tarkin know there was a danger? Huh? You let them escape with the blueprints?! Why in all of Oppression would you do that?! Wow. The Death Star . .gone. Holy Lightning, this is bad."

Palpatine's reaction that Darth Vader told Luke Skywalker he was his father.
"Oh Holy Devastation!! You couldn't be even a little coy about this? You've got no sense of timing with this stuff, you know that?! I think that metal bucket on your head is finally starting to block your brain waves! Don't wait til he's dangling over a giant chasm to spring this on him! Of course, he's gonna jump! Whaddya think was gonna happen?! Fortunately, he's still alive, so I'll handle things from here. This is what we're gonna do."