Sorry about the quote, it just provides an easy explanation for how the title forced on me by a TV show relates to the rest of the entry. Ha! (<- Another $2 to K-fan).

I've noticed that a lot of people have been taking breaks from blogging over the past few months. That's not what I want to talk about, but I do want to say that it's always nice when they - you know who you are - return. Blogging can't always be the number one priority, since we all have other commitments. The important thing is that no-one lowers themselves to Stooge's level by making up a religion as an excuse to take a few days off. I mean, Judaism? What the hell is that? At least try to make it sound real! For shame.

Let's put that unfortunate business behind us and focus on something more wholesome: Lego Star Wars II. Very much a follow-up to Lego Star Wars I, which was in turn a sequel to Super Mario Bros. So who's been playing it? All of you, if you've got any sense, but you know you've been playing it too much when you start smashing furniture and light fixtures around your house to see if any studs come out. Just the four of you, then? Something else now, something else...Ah, yes! I shall be wreaking my terrible vengeance upon civilization soon, so that's something to look forward to - pencil it in for the 15th, but it really all depends on how the weather holds up.

What about myself? What do I get up to when I'm not blogging? Well, you may or may not be aware that the haggis hunting season is now in full swing. As such, I have been bounding across the misty moors armed with a broadsword, hacking down any of the buggers that get frightened my way by the pipers. Not easy, but it's worth the effort for the eats; beats porridge three times a day, anyway. Gods help you if they get up your kilt, though, gods help you. I won't tell you how we get them out from up there, but it involves a vacuum cleaner and a box of matches. Well, having set back cultural perceptions of Scotland by several hundred years, let's move on once again onto the next daring feat of skulduggery (What a word!).
I assume that most of you have already made plans for Christmas, but if you haven't, for whatever reason, why not consider coming to stay with the beautiful people of Edinburgh? And the half-million ugly ones as well? We'll sing and dance and get so badly pished you won't remember any of it! Magic. Just don't go to Glasgow, for goodness' sake. I don't mind telling you, the only reason anyone from Edinburgh goes to Glasgow is for the banter. That and the competitive heroin prices. I'll tell you a good time in the Glasgae, though: Run through Bridgeton, wrapped in an Irish flag and holding a placard saying "Pope FTW!!", whilst singing "Fields of Athenry".* You'll make loads of pals.
Sorry if I lost you there, and I promise I won't talk about such divergent topics again, unless I feel like it.

Whilst some of us take time off just to focus on other projects, sometimes you just don't feel like blogging - or doing anything else for that matter. It mightn't be anything in particular, but rather that you just don't feel 100% for some non-specific reason. I was thinking about this, which is always dangerous, and I wondered if our favourite characters ever felt the same. Did Han have off-days, sitting at home in his underpants with the curtains closed, watching daytime quiz shows and surrounded by empty gin bottles and the acrid smell of despair? Chewie would be the sensible friend. Chewie does not smell of despair, he smells exactly like you imagine a tall man wearing deep-pile carpet would.
"[C'mon, Han. You fell off your kaadu, now you just need to climb back on and get going again"]
"Don't lecture me you hairy...man" He takes another swig of gin.
"[This isn't healthy]" Chewie starts picking up bottles. He sniffs one. "[You...you didn't drink that green stuff from the bathroom cupboard, did you?]"
"...Maybe"
"[Oh gods. I'm calling an ambulance]"

Of course, Han didn't really have a home, did he? Or, should I say, he didn't have a fixed abode? Just the Falcon. The Falcon, like Serenity, represents freedom. Real freedom, not the kind that means you can choose which brand of washing powder to buy, or exactly how deep in credit card debt you'd like to live. The Millennium Falcon isn't some false dream that asks you to give everything for something you will likely never achieve; it's a tangible thing, a very real thing. Flying from port to port, keeping one step ahead of the law and a botched wiring job away from breaking down in deep space. It's a different kind of life; beyond the comfort zone. Whether it's the source or result of Han's vitality as a character is up for debate, but it's no surprise that he was the one whom most wains, of both genders, wanted to be when they left the cinema back in '77 and again in '97, in essence if not in specifics. Something to consider, or not as the case may be. Definitely not now, though, because we're moving on again.

At this time of year, as we near that most magical of all lunar cycles, December, our thoughts turn inexorably towards a very special day. It is the day which brought forth a truly unique person onto earth. A day which is celebrated the world over as a time for giving and for worship. That's right, it's my birthday! December 10th, folks, make a note. Seriously though, the GFFA must have been pretty interesting when it came to festivities. On a cosmopolitan planet such as Coruscant, with thousands of species living together, every day must have been someone's Christmas - probably a lot of someones, since there are only 368 days in a Galactic Standard Year to choose from, or so I am informed by a certain source of uncertain reliability. Not just Christmas-style celebrations either, but anything else that those varied and disparate cultures had brought with them. Imagine that every single day. The boozing. The prezzies. The visiting relatives that you secretly hoped had been bedridden with some virulent disease. Those bloody board games that probably cause more deaths than all the husbands who come home early combined.

Meh, you know I never finish these entries properly, so I don't know what you're expecting. I think I'll just distract you with this picture instead.


A Recommendation

I saw a film this week which I thought was so impressive that I had to mention it. It's called "Pan's Labyrinth", and I think it will be out in the US on the 29th of December if that's where you're about, although possibly on some sort of limited release. The reason I want everyone to see it is that we all love movies, yet it is so rare now that a real gem comes along. This is one of them. Directed by Guillermo del Toro, it is a dark fantasy about the attempts of a little girl to escape the horrors of post civil war Spain with the help of a strange creature living in the earth. I don't want to say too much, other than it is filled with hope and melancholy and wonderful imagination, and some of the finest cinematography you will see around. I'd say that it shares film-of-the-year honours with "Children of Men", and it was no surprise to see that Alfonso Cuaron (director of CoM) has a producer's credit here.
One caveat: It will probably get an R rating, and not without good reason. This is definitely not for young children, as there are scenes of terrible violence in the real world (the face-smashing rivals "A History of Violence", if you've seen that), and at least one encounter in the fantasy world can only be described as comprehensively terrifying.
That said, you have no excuse. See it.

*Please do not actually do this, as if you get a stabbin' it's possible that I could get landed with some sort of culpability charge.