
Allow me to just make one thing clear right now:
JediMelindaWolf is awesome. That is essentially the core message of this entry, so you can just take my word on that and stop reading now. If, however, you require some sort of hard evidence, then you had best read on. (There are photos again, but it will still sort of work this time if you can't view them from where you are now.)
During December of last year, JMW held a series of holiday raffles, whereby those who entered their names had the chance of winning some Star Wars goodies. I was fortunate enough to win one of the raffles and, despite the best efforts of the postal service, I received my prize in the mail earlier this week. Here's how it all breaks down:
Best. Handwriting. Ever. Am I right? Yet again. You see, JMW puts as much effort into writing the envelope as she does choosing the gifts. Nothing is too wee or insignificant to receive the most careful attention, and that includes the
wrapping paper. "If nice you are, a merry Christmas you will have". Don't worry about Yoda, he just didn't get much schooling. And then there was that thing where Mace dropped him on his head.
Now, you might think that an envelope and a square of wrapping paper would be enough to send as a Christmas gift, and indeed it would be for most of us, but not for our JMW. She had to put something inside it.
Lewt! That would be a handmade card, a bar of chocolate, a sticker book, a calendar, a set of fridge magnets and a key fob. And did I mention the wrapping paper?
Chewbacca says, "
I heartily approve of this card and/or gift". Well, actually he says, "Hunnrrrrooooowwwwrrr", but I cannae understand him. Bless. And no, Christmas is not over yet. It is over only when I say it is, or when Firefly is re-commissioned.
Everyone loves Lego, and if you don't then you are unnatural and should not be allowed near children or other vulnerable members of society. The Lego mini-figure magnets now adorn my refrigerator door, and will do until such time as they have been consumed by my dog. It's true what Homer says, you know. My solution is to not try to learn anything new in the first place.
According to the back of the wrapper,
Dagoba is the temple of the gods. Which gods I don't know, but I definitely don't remember them mentioning that in Sunday School. Anyway, this chocolate bar is sadly now no longer with us, as I consumed it in an orgy of cocoa-fuelled passion this evening. I will turn myself in tomorrow. The wrapper I will keep as a memento of our tragic and delicious time together.
This isn't just any calendar; this is a sixteen month calendar. I know, there are only twelve months in an Earth year, right? Crazy! I don't have any engagements this month, but whew, you should see February! It's empty too. At least I had good light for this photo, as a fiery orb of great mystery appeared in the southern sky just this past week. I shall call it Ocopoleraxtzic, and I shall dance a furious dance of worship in its honour, that it may forever cast its favour upon me.
Look at all those
lovely stickers. At first I was concerned about how I would decide where to stick them, so thankfully the authors were way ahead of me and provided silhouettes in the book. Videogames may have stolen my imagination, but at least we live in a world where that doesn't matter and can actually be advantageous in some situations, such as when watching the news.
Ahoy!
Key fobs off the port bow! I'm a big geek, so I don't know which one is cooler. In fact, let's just take a moment to bask in the radiant coolness of both. Aaahhhhh...The Clone pilot now hangs from my car keys, where he acts as my lucky mascot, and very competently at that. I tried switching roles on the way to the supermarket earlier today, but a word of advice: Not so good with the steering.
Finally, the calendar came with a DVD-ROM, the massive storage capacity of which is required to store the mighty sum of twelve - count 'em, twelve - image files. These are desktop backgrounds for your home computational device, which compliment the images on the calendar. Are they any good?
See for yourself (If you're wondering, I hid all the desktop folders called "Definitely not pr0n" for this photo). Good enough to replace my beloved Nintendo background at any rate. If only science could provide a fantastical synthesis of the two...I can always dream.
This is my thank you to JediMelindaWolf, one of the kindest, most generous people in this community of ours. If only more people were like her. I could always do with more chocolate.
So long, and may Ocopoleraxtzic be with you, every one.