Welcome to Yodacon analysis lesson two. I think that I have pretty much milked lesson one for every comment it's going to get, so I decided it was time to move on. It's all about the ratings! (Note: This is my 'difficult second blog' on the subject, so it's supposed to be longer and not as good.)



Have you ever heard it said that somebody "loves too much"? It means that the love has become unhealthy, and may have begun to border on obsession. For you it may be the cute person you sit next to at work or school. For Ninja it is killing. For me it is Viennese Sandwiches. But I am not a faithful lover. No, I often have dalliances with chocolate digestives. I know! I know it's wrong! I have been so weak...but I can change, I swear it! Don't go!
Anyway. To the point: What is the ultimate result of these obsessions? Nothing consequential. For most it will simply involve strengthening ones resolve and moving on. But this Yodacon represents a more serious outcome. It is possible that if love, a strong love, is kept bottled up, then it may eventually manifest itself physically. Starting as a rash, this will build up until it forms great, heart-shaped tumours on the face. Tumours of love. 'Tis said that it is both a blessing and a curse, although to be fair I have yet to discover any positive side-effects apart from the obvious organ donation benefits.
Sigh...so romantic. It's like some sort of sci-fi Casablanca. Except without any Nazis.



This expression is not one that sees a lot of use on the blogs. Kenobi-fan himself professes that it can be hard to find a use for, but I said to him that someday I would. Well, today is that day. The reason that this Yodacon does not see a lot of use is that it is representative of our cynical side, which does not often have need to surface on this site. If I were to sum up this look as succinctly as possible, the words I would use would be "aye" and "right" (and possibly "pal").
Sometimes cynicism can be helpful. It aids you, for example, in deciding that you will not actually get a free iPod Nano if you just click this link now! But it can also be harmful if it is ill-suited to the personality, as in this case. Look. See how he seems to be the epitome of the wordly-wise individual? "I won't be caught out by any scams; I'm cynical, dammit." Inside, though, he yearns to be the gullible and naïve youth he once was. Only then was he truly free to explore the multifarious wonders of the universe, and of spam email.



"I'm cool, and I don't care who knows it", is what this Yodacon proudly proclaims. To most users of this site, the meaning carried by this icon is only as deep as that. It is also the emblem of choice for the individual who wishes to say something outrageous, or to show off, but to immediately diffuse any ill-will garnered. If one were to see it on a blog or a post, one would not be surprised to see it preceded by "See that cast photo? Signed", or perhaps, "3.75'' Scorch figure? I've got ten!" "Curses!" is what you might think, "But, how can I be mad when there's a cartoon Yoda wearing sunglasses looking at me?" In this regard, it performs much the same role as a three-legged dog. Think of all those times you were going to kick that hobo, but stayed your foot because his canine amputee-sidekick looked at you pleadingly. So many times.*
However, everything you know about this Yodacon is a lie. In fact, that is verily what he represents - a lie. Think about who else wears shades all the time. That's right: rich people. He has reached the top, he has his mansion, his cars and his gumball machine (those things are surprisingly expensive) - but he has only now realised that money can buy you but imitation happiness, not the real thing. His whole life is a sham, and he hides behind mirrored glasses so that whomsoever may look upon him will not see the windows to his soul...empty.
There is but one way out for the individual in this situation - they must give all their money to me. It's for the best.


*Not really. Sheesh, you're so quick to judge! Of course I don't kick hobos, I just pay them to steal electronic goods for me.