This idea is expanded from a dream I had where Brit teeny pop sensation the Sugababes are playing in Jabba's Palace and were cast into the Rancor Pit.

Aaaaaanyway...

Can you imagine it? Jabba tells Bib to go and book the talent, he scours the holonet for the acts, and he comes back with the candidates. Here's the list that Jabba says "forget it":

The Who - Jabba wouldn't stand for Keith Moon's appetite for destruction and chaos. "I'm all for a bit of debauchery, Bib" says Jabba "But you know, this Moon dude, he is chaos incarnate, my pet's lair below will likely be flooded or something."

Slipknot - promising in looks alone, but not even any girls in the band.

Oasis - Liam Gallagher's penchant for constantly quitting the band during tours and constant bust-ups with his brother Noel leaves Jabba in no doubt that the Oasis bubble has burst and no one on Tatooine really likes them anymore.

Led Zeppelin "I'm not having John Bonham cruising his motorcycle around the Palace corridors when I'm trying to get some sleep!"

Babyshambles Jabba knows there's not enough spice on Tatooine to satisfy Pete Doherty so he probably wouldn't show.

Black Sabbath Jabba just looks at Bib and says "I don't think there's enough Ozzy shots for all the people who he'll bite. And poor Salacious Crumb is not safe either."

So that's who didn't make it to the concert. But who were the lucky ones? Long months of planning went ahead, the bookings were made, the small print was studied (Any displays of rock and roll excess that result in damage to the Palace will result in pain of death), Boba Fett was placed in charge of security, and the concert was advertised to all corners of the Outer Rim.

This is how it went:

The Philadelphia Live 8 openers Kaiser Chiefs start the gig but the popular Brit rockers make a grave mistake by opening with their song I Predict a Riot which whips the crowd into an immediate frenzy, Jabba wastes no time in pushing the Rancor pit button for fear of his Han Solo decoration getting damaged. Rancor 1 - Kaiser Chiefs 0.

Rushed on ahead of schedule are the Sugababes, who calm the audience down a bit to an acceptable liking for Jabba. However, their set is cut short as Jabba motions for Heidi (the blonde one) to come closer, which she denies. Result = Rancor gets more food.

AC/DC come on to try and get the crowd going as they get restless (they all want to boo Jabba, but all realise the consequences). The aussie rockers succeed in motivating the crowd and are a resounding success. However, Jabba takes offence to the crowds chants of "Angus, Angus, Angus" and promptly disposes of the band via the means of Rancor pit.

Manchester's The Happy Mondays arrive on stage and frontman Shaun Ryder yells his way into the affections of the crowd. But it's loony raver Bez that impresses Jabba with his awkward, comical yet intoxicating dance style. Jabba makes a note to hire Bez as one of his palace dancers.

With the first survival of the concert, the audience's mood is pumped as Iron Maiden take to the stage and perform some of their greatest tracks. However, Jabba thinks that Number of the Beast refers to him and promptly shows the Brit rockers what a real beast looks like. The Rancor thinks it's his birthday.

P!nk arrives to raptuous applause and the tough singer pleases Jabba immensely. The bloated one likes her style and attitude and is seen throughout her set swaying to her beat. He orders her to join him, which she has no problem with and spends the rest of the concert chained to his side. Stupid girl.

The arrival of rock legends Queen gets the Tatooine denizens in the mood for some vibrant rocking and are quite a success until they finish their set with We Will Rock You. The pounding of the audience's feet threatens to upset the foundations of the palace so Jabba puts a stop to it in the only way he knows - Rancor pit. The audience soon stops pounding.

Next up are the Arctic Monkeys. The band are infectious and even Jabba sends his protocol droid onto the stage during I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor as he hears the line "dancing like a robot from 1984".

Despite their own appetite for destruction, Jabba allowed Guns N' Roses to play at his concert, thinking that the amount of groupies that would arrive might be worth it. However, Axl stage dives and injures a member of the audience. Jabba quickly resolves the situation by dropping the band, and the injured innocent bystander, into the Rancor pit before any lawsuit could be initiated.

Metallica are on next and are as expected, a success, especially amongst the Tusken Raiders (watching on a giant screen in the Jundland Wastes) as they perform their number Enter Sandman.

Anastacia arrives on stage and promises to win the crowd over with her powerful voice. This she does and even Jabba's impressed, so much so that she is invited to join him on his dais. As she sings the tune Not That Type of Girl, Jabba mistakes that for a rebuttal and she quickly becomes Rancor fodder.

Prog-rock masters Radiohead are billed to end the concert but due to the early departure of most of the acts, they have to extend their set to give the crowd their money's worth. Easily accomplished by the musical figureheads, they are a huge success and Jabba applauds them. They even remain intact, however, watching from afar via the holonet is The Emperor, who makes a note to keep an eye on the group during their rendition of Paranoid Android as the lyric "When I am king, you will be first against the wall" causes Palpatine to raise an eyebrow. The Imperial Security Bureau is promptly tasked with keeping an eye on the band.

The concert is a sort-of success. The Outer RIm territories will talk about it for generations, mainly for the death of so many musical icons. The survivors; The Happy Mondays, Arctic Monkeys, Metallica and Radiohead are all pleased to have effectively escaped the Rancor, and collectively decide to go on tour in the Deep Core, where it's much safer, despite a Galactic Civil War going on.

Pink decides to quit the music business and become a slave girl for Jabba. Whether she can keep the gangster happy and entertained, remains to be seen.

As for the unlucky musicians; Kaiser Chiefs, Sugababes, AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Queen, GnR and Anastacia, they will be forever remembered and immortalised as "going out in a blaze of glory" in true rock and roll fashion, at Jabbastock.