After the success of JABBASTOCK, Emperor Palpatine, not to be outdone, commissions a rock concert to take place in Imperial City.

The Imperial Security Bureau is in charge of, well, security and a young Imperial Lieutenant is tasked with hiring the bands. However, as the deadline approaches, Lt Jerjerrod is confronted by Lord Vader.

Lt Jerjerrod: "Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure, we are honoured by your presence."

You know how the rest of the scene unfolds.

So, Jerjerrod doubles his efforts, and the concert takes place. It is advertised on the holonet and the citizens of Coruscant, along with beings from all over the galaxy converge on Imperial Center for the auspicious event.

Before we look at how the concert went, lets take a look at the bands that didn't make it, after Tarkin reviewed the guest list.

The Doors. "I really think The End would be a fitting finale to the show," says Tarkin "but this Jim Morrison character tends to show his private parts. We can't have that."

Oasis. Were going to get a slot, especially after Jabba turned them down, but Vader stepped in at the last moment after stating "I'm not listening to them sing Live Forever!"

Nirvana. For no other reason than Tarkin wants the Foo Fighters to perform.

Madonna. Tarkin already knows that the songs Like a Virgin, Papa Don't Preach, Crazy For You and Justify My Love might instill some bad vibes in Vader, so she is cancelled.

Velvet Revolver were going to play but seeing as though 3 band members died as GnR members at Jabbastock, they're a non-starter.

So, the crowds gathered, the media gathered and the bands came. Here's how it went...

After their disapointing one-track only performance at Live 8, The Killers get their big chance to impress as they get to open the show. A great start - the crowd are buzzing and Palpatine, Vader and Tarkin nod to themselves as they seem to have won the citizens over straight away. However, as they finish their set with All These Things That I've Done, it seems as if half of Coruscant are singing along to the lyrics "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier" which prompts The Emperor to lean over to Tarkin and say "Sounds like an anti-war song, Tarkin." Despite protests that he'd warned Vader that he was "taking an awful risk", Palpatine insists that he can't be having anymore of this propaganda. The Killers finish their set and are never seen or heard from again.

The second band on stage are Frankie Goes to Hollywood who whip the crowd into a frenzy with their songs Relax and Welcome to the Pleasuredome, but its when they perform Two Tribes that Tarkin looks at his Emperor and says "I know my Lord, it's an anti-war song. I'll see to them immediately after the show." Scratch one Frankie Goes to Hollywood!

Knowing that Radiohead did so well at Jabbastock, but having kept an eye on them and ensured that they are well out in the Outer Rim, Tarkin tries his luck with other Brit prog rockers, Muse. The band from Devon do superbly well and even the two Sith Lords are impressed with their light show. However, Tarkin frowns during the number Supermassive Black Hole and wonders if they know anything about his secret project at Maw Installation. Muse are taken away by men in white armour.

So far so good, according to the crowd - they aren't seeing whats happening to the artists after their sets.

Next to perform are The Foo Fighters, who are a huge success. Even Palpatine enjoys them, especially as he remembers Mace Windu's untimely end during their track Learning to Fly. "Oh I like these Tarkin" says he "I'd like to see these again, brings back good memories."

The Prodigy are next up and the mayhem ensues, fueled by anthemic songs such as Firestarter (which Palpatine also likes), Everybody in the Place and Wind it Up. Unfortunately, Vader sees red when they perform Smack my B***h Up and Breathe - he promptly marches onto the stage and cuts the band down, although Keith Flint does put up a good fight. The crowd don't care though, they think the murderous rampage is part of the act!

Jack Black fans are overjoyed when Tenacious D arrive on set with their comedy rock routine. Unfortunately, when the Emperor realises that Tribute isn't about him, he orders their demise. The galaxy won't be the same again.

The Darkness are what The Emperor has been waiting for all night, but despite a couple of fairly decent tracks, the Sith Lord decides that they don't live up to their promising name and sends them to the Spice Mines of Kessel.

Northern Irish rockers Ash impress the media, the audience and the Sith Lords in attendance, with their hits Burn Baby Burn, Girl From Mars and Angel Interceptor (the latter reminding Vader of his former modified Jedi starfighter). The stormtroopers waiting nearby seem puzzled when not ordered to move in on the band.

As Green Day take to the stage, frontman Billie Joe has the notion to change the lyrics to opening number American Idiot. Coruscanti Idiot doesn't go down too well with the crowd and a riot almost kicks off but is quelled thanks to nearby stormtroopers who open fire upon the mosh pit. Palpatine simply shrugs as Billie Joe looks up at the royal box and says "My bad".

80s rockers The Cult take to the stage and cause a stir amongst some Dathomir groupies during their songs Fire Woman and The Witch. However, the stormies manage to stop the disturbance (as they're accompanied by Vader and even Force witches don't really want to mess with a Dark Lord of the Sith) and the band continue their set until they lose their heads to Vader as Wild Hearted Son reminds him of his childhood, and his mother.

With the concert nearing it's finale, the viewing galaxy are impressed with the talent, not knowing that most of the bands will never be seen again. Penultimate band to take to the stage are The White Stripes who get the crowd going even more. Things are looking good until their last track as they perform Fell in Love With a Girl which gives Vader instant memories so painful that Jack and Meg are Force-choked before they can finish. One Bith music critic was heard saying "I would have done the same, they needed a bass player."

And so it is, to the last set of the night. Who gets the honour? Why, it's none other than The Beastie Boys. Surprised? Well don't be. Palpatine nods to Tarkin as he understands the metaphor for the new regime of The Empire as they open up with The New Style and Posse in Effect. The galaxy is loving it as they belt out hit after hit including Tough Guy and Sabotage. Electrify and Instant Death goes down a treat with the Sith Lords and the final tune of the concert is Intergalactic which goes down well with a now unified galaxy.

So, a success. Peace is at last assured. Despite many artists now just smoking, charred remains or headless corpses or just vanished entirely, the survivors (The Foo Fighters, Ash, Green Day and The Beastie Boys) live to tell the tale.

Those that witnessed the spectacle will talk about it for a thousand generations. Even the growing band of rebellious leaders, looking to restore freedom to the galaxy were impressed.

Peace, love and unity? Not likely, but the galaxy will always remember the time they witnessed Sithstock.

Enjoy your weekend, I'll be back next week.