Those of you that know me will have seen a drastic change in my attitude of late, and I've been appearing to be short-tempered and bad-natured. Well folks, let me assure you that I haven't been like this in real life, not with my real-life friends and colleagues anyway.

But, I do understand that I've been typing bad sentiments and spreading dissent thoughout the blogs (some guy black-listed me last week 'cos I typed that I hated AOTC. Doesn't matter, his blogs were rubbish anyway) Oops, there I go again, being all anti again. I promise I'll try and stop.

I'll apologise right now for my bad feelings and for those that I've offended in any way, or even just annoyed with my rantings.

I was going to work in a load of metaphors with Star Wars about redemption and falling to the dark side and all that malarky, but I decided against it because most of my bad feelings stem from Star Wars itself.

Thats right, my bad mood comes whenever I'm united with the Star Wars franchise.

Explanation time. Warning - click on the "back" key right now to leave this blog if you'll be offended by the following text that will hopefully put into words what I'm feeling.

The OT genereration may empathise with some of my sentiments, this lack of love for Star Wars happened in the mid 80s when we all thought Star Wars was dead.

Back in 1983 after ROTJ had done its rounds, most of us thought that it was all over, despite secretly wishing for more films, many of us acknowledging that there wouldn't be any more. For me, I was approaching my mid-teens and the timing of the last episode came at the same time that I decided that playing with the toys and reading the comics was not appropriate to the status of a young, male adolescent. Come on, Liverpool FC were at their height, and there were girls around. And I discovered alcohol. What would you have done? (Cue inserted line from a certain character about wanting more, but actually I'll decide against it.)

Disclaimer: I don't condone under-age drinking in any form and totally regret ever doing so myself.

Well anyway, I left it all alone, donated my toys and comics to my younger brother, shrugged my shoulders, forgot about Star Wars and concentrated on other things. There was no Imperius Curse going on here - it was all completely my own decision.

Then 1991 came along and gave me Tim Zahn's Heir to the Empire. Coupla years after that I picked up Dark Empire. Not long after that the UK Official Star Wars Magazine hit the shelves (an almost carbon-copy of Insider). I played Super Star Wars on ther SNES. Then I played Dark Forces on a friend's PC (I didn't own my first PC until 2000). Cue more comics and a bunch of novels, Special Editions, Shadows of the Empire and news of a prequel triology. Hooray, Star Wars is cool again.

Time to pick up where I left off. I contacted my brother but my former possessions were all long gone. Oh well, a computer, a modem and ebay later and I'm there again.

Life is good. The Episkey healing spell was at work.

Fast forward to the present day and the prequels are over. In 2005 I did wonder whether history would repeat itself. But I didn't ever think it would, as you all know, Star Wars is not at all dead. There's lots of exciting things to expect over the coming years.

Unless you're me, that is.

But why?

There's a ton of comics and novels, there's a TV show coming, as well as an all-singing, all-dancing animated series on its way. There's new games on the horizon, there's a million websites (of which I visit about three of), lots of 30th anniversary merchandise and much much more.

Why does all this stuff provide me with such doom and gloom?

Well, for starters, I had to stop reading the comics. Some of you will know that I moved away from the UK and set up home in the Nordic region. One of the first things I did there was look for a local comic shop. I found several almost on my doorstep. But they all only ever dealt with trade paperbacks when it came to Star Wars, and none of the ones I need (Legacy vol 1, KotOR vol 2) are on sale here yet. So I'm way behind on those, as well as Rebellion and Dark Times, which is frustrating for me as for the past several years, the comics were what I loved most, especially the Clone Wars stories. I investigated "mail order" options, but the UK comic stores just don't comply, and you can forget Forbidden Planet International, to them "international" means the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Not very international at all.

So lack of comics led to lack of visits to one of my most popular online haunts - the Dark Horse website. Even when I do visit occasionally now, I can't comment on any of the comic threads for fear of spoilers (something I hate - people who issue spoilers should be subjected to the Cruciatus Curse.)

Then there's this Force Unleashed business. Wow, great. In order to play this I need a next generation console. I have never owned a console since my SNES (not counting my daughter's XBox) so forget that one. I was never much of a gamer anyway and now I'm far too old. Games are for kids, I don't care what you say. Not even the idea that there will be some form of book or comic to tie-in this game appeals to me. Hopefully I'll change my mind when said book hits the shelves.

Umm, perhaps I wont. I havent bothered with the current crop of Star Wars books for a while. After a promising start with Legacy of the Force, I haven't even got the 4th chapter on my radar. Ditto for Outbound Flight which I initially thought I'd get as soon as it went paperback. Not so. I just cannot be bothered - there's a few more out there probably but as I'm not interested I couldn't tell you for sure. This is surprising, as I thought Path of Destruction was an outstanding book, and I was so looking forward to the Darth Plagueis novel until they shelved it.

Maybe thats part of the reason. Perhaps I'm having "anti-novel" feelings because the powers-that-be binned it. Who knows?

It aint just the novels - its the movies and comics too. The other week I stuck ROTS in the trusty dvd player and I turned it off when the Buzz Droids arrived and watched True Romance instead. Yesterday afternoon I picked up my three favourite Star Wars comics - Darkness, Jedi Vs Sith and Obsession to see if reading any one of them would perk me up but I stuffed them all back into the cupboard without so much as opening a page.

So what else vexes me?

Oh yeah, this site. In particular, Hyperspace itself. I renewed my membership last July after having a successful first year on the blogs, my primary reason for joining. Webstrips were the 2nd factor followed by What's the Story? I haven't been back to the latter two for a long time, leaving blogging the main reason for my subscription.

But I've seriously been considering not renewing for a third year, I've just been disenchanted with it all since the turn of 2007. I can't quite put my finger on why - I'm just bored with it I guess.

Thank Christ for The Stooge, thats all I can say, and others as well. You know who you are. If it weren't for you I'd have deserted this place ages ago. But something's keeping hold of me, for now.

Maybe my distaste is because of all the Celebration IV "gushing" as a close friend put it.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not against it, I'm sure it has some value to some of you and will probably be an entertaining spectacle. But it doesn't interest me. No conventions do. It just isn't my thing, depsite what some of you have said about me "really wanting to go/being jealous" and all that.

To those of you that said that, please know that I really, really have no interest in it at all. If I wanted to go, I would, same goes for the European version (in actual fact I'll be in the UK when that happens, but I'm still not going). I like Star Wars (debatable), but not enough to stand in queues (standing in line, for those who don't use the word queue) for hours on end to get a glimpse of some bit-part actor who we wont recognise as he wore a mask anyway for his two minutes of Star Wars screen time. I wouldn't even want to see a big name either. My hero worship will only extend to Liverpool players, past and present.

And Jan Duursema.

Yes I expect she'll probably be there, but I'm not hopping across the pond just to find out.

However, I sincerely wish that if you're going, then I hope you'll have a fantastic experience and that you cherish the memories forever. And I'm sorry if I've infected your blogs with my negative responses. You can be rest assured that I won't be doing anything similar when you start to share your experiences within these here blogs.

Anyway, back to the point of the matter - and that is - there must be something the matter with me. Why do I have all these bad vibes about Star Wars right now? It's not the same as it was in the 80s - Star Wars is indeed not dead (it never was), and things are looking rosy for the franchise more so now than it was back then.

Am I under a spell? Am I bewitched? If so, someone should use the Finite Incantatem charm on me quickly to remove the effects of any such wizardry wrongdoing.

But wait.

Why all the spell names I hear you ask. What is the relevance of Harry Potter?

There is no relevance from what I can gather. Other than the fact that I've been reading the books (for the first time) over the last few months, but thats not unusual for me to read something other than Star Wars - there is more to life than just this franchise, so it cant be for this reason for my lack of Star Wars love.

Something else that entered my life for the first time this year was 24. Having never watched a single episode I was introduced to it in January and am now in possession of seasons 1-4, with season 5 on the way. But I've always had time for other stuff so I'm doubting that this has any validity for my current state of mind.

I just can't fathom it. It all may sound scandalous or blasphemous to you all, but I just cant shake the feeling. You may all think someone's hit me with the Babbling Curse and maybe that's true.

Maybe I'll snap out of it.

Maybe not.

You might not even care. You may be keeping your fingers crossed that I won't renew my subscription so I can stop polluting your blogs.

But whatever the situation, I honestly hope that your Celebration IV or Celebration Europe goes well and that you all have wonderful times.

I'm sure you'll all have happy memories strong enough to invoke the Patronus Charm. You know the one I mean: "Expecto Patronum!"

Meanwhile, I'll just get ready for the Banishing Charm that's probably on its way.

P.S.

In case you're wondering about my new blog title - it's a song title from 90s British popular music group James. I thought it was apt, and better than the temporary one I had going recently. Sorry about that.