It was something no parent wants to ever experience. I hope none of you ever have to. I want to preface this by saying everything is alright and Abby is no worse for wear and hopefully a bit wiser for the experience. That being said we came close to losing a our little girl last night. A sobering experience to say the least and the most scared I've ever been.

Abby had just finished watching a movie and was now hungry for dinner. We gave her a list of what we had in the house she could have to eat and she made the choice of hot dogs. Not a big deal she's eaten them many times before as most kids do. She has always had a problem with not chewing properly as well as putting too much in her mouth. We are constantly fussing at her (almost every meal) to take small bites and chew her food and swallow before taking another. For this reason Amy has always cut her food into the smallest pieces, but Abby is almost 5 and we are not cutting up her food as much anymore.

Amy was upstairs and I was on the couch flipping channels. Typical guy stuff. Abby was a few feet away at the kitchen table eating her dinner. I then hear her gagging which isn't an abnormal thing to happen since she has always had large tonsils and easily gags. I asked if she was okay but she kept gagging. I asked again and she still wasn't responding so my red flag goes up immediately. I go over to her and smack her back several times and she is not recovering. I can tell she is becoming very upset. I ask again if she is okay and if she can breath. With tears rolling down her face and panic in her eyes, still gagging and spitting out what food she can she shakes her head no.

I can tell her complexion is turning dusky. This then turns me white. I pulled her out of the chair. Amy had by this point run downstairs asking if she was choking and turning frantic and saying over and over she can't breath. I may have responded back I don't remember because my brain had completely tuned her out all my focus was on my baby girl. I remember it being a chaotic mess, and not making Abby more frightened.

Admittedly I was a bit frightened to do anything to help because I wasn't sure if I could remember how to help properly. It had been so many years since I had taken a lifesaving and CPR class in the Boy Scouts. About 19 to be more precise. I didn't want to make anything worse by doing something wrong. Amy had training more recently in the late 90's so I was waiting for her at first to do what needed to be done. When she came down in a panic and seemingly frozen as to what to do. I grabbed Abby from behind and started abdominal thrusts as best as I could remember. ( I am tearing up writing this at the moment) This agitated Abby and she squeezed away from me and by using just her mouth muscles mumbled or gurgled "Stop Daddy!" I long ago made a promise that I would do anything within my power to protect her and as helpless as I felt this kept me from giving up and completely losing it. I remember our cat getting very upset even though he normally stays away from if he can help it and meowing mournfully at our feet. A much different meow than the one he usually has. Sounded more like the one when I gave he baths as a kitten.

She threw herself into mommy's arms who still in a panic and crying bent her over and we smacked her back again. It seemed like nothing was working. She stood up again but still no change. I grabbed her again but she tried pulling away. Amy tried to explain what I was doing and that she needed to let me. I was able to do several abdominal thrusts some more even though I again felt I wasn't really helping. Nothing happened. She fought me and slipped out of my bear hug but I was able to grab her again to do a few more. She again gurgled stop and pulled away and whirled around. She still wasn't able to breath and was getting more upset.

She started to vomit and my wife held her from behind so she was bent forward. When she was done we hit her on the back some more. Something for the first time noticeably shifted a little when she vomited because she gained a little color and was able to get some gasping breaths in. I relaxed some even though I could tell by the sound of her that she was not clear yet. We told her to force herself to cough hard while trying not to suck in. I demonstrated this to her and she did try. Still no change though, but again at least she was breathing.

Amy was saying we needed to get her to the hospital and ran upstairs to get dressed again and call 911. I kept talking to Abby and smacking her back as I was thinking what else I could do. Amy said something and I turned to respond when Abby gagged one more time and out came the very large piece of hot dog and she suddenly cried the most frightened cry I ever heard out of her. Amy came down again when I said that was it. She sat on the floor and grabbed her to her and they sat there crying together for a long time. I didn't think my wife would ever let her go. I think at that point I probably scolded her a little for not chewing her food like we tell her all the time and that this is why we tell her that. My mind still a blur with adrenaline it is had to remember. I had bought her a glue stick a couple of days earlier and presented it to console her. She started cheering up and I threw out the rest of her dinner.

We gave her a popsicle to help her throat which she said hurt. She ate it while Amy held her crying. Hopefully she will remember this and actually chew her food better from now on and not stuff her mouth, but she is a kid and kids will be kids. Not much I can do about that but stay diligent when she is under my watch. Abby would eventually get up to use her new glue stick and played happily the rest of the night and just acting like her silly self. Mommy then went to me for her own consoling. The world was okay again despite the aching in our hearts at knowing how close we came to losing our precious girl forever. I still don't know if I really did anything in the end. I guess I was expecting to see a piece of food come flying out of her mouth like in the movies or something. Whatever the case I still have my little girl and that is all that matters.

May the Force be with you!
-Gold5