I know, I know: when last I promised I was "back for good", I promptly disappeared for another year. But this time, I've already got blog entries planned for the next four weeks, so I fully intend to return to active participation in the community.

(In other words, see you in January of 2012! )

I really hate myself for abandoning my friends, and in my most arrogant moments, I like to imagine that some of them even missed me. It seems a few have quit StarWars.com altogether. I'd be grateful if anyone could pass along news about BrooklooineGhost, whom I met at Celebration IV but have not encountered since. Thankfully, we may have to opportunity to meet again soon.

How? At Celebration V, of course!

No, I haven't heard any official news, nor am I privy to secret information from LucasFilm. I haven't even heard any substantial rumors.

BUT:

In recent weeks, a red spot has developed on my chin. It could be the result of holiday goodies (I'm allergic to wheat and really shouldn't have devoured quite so many cookies), but I've prodded it from several different angles and with several different instruments, and it contains none of the white pus characteristic of my gluten-rashes. Obviously, this spot has some other source. That source is -- and I'm absolutely certain of this fact, so don't try to dissuade me -- the impending announcement of Celebration V.

I am certain of the significance of the Oracular Chin-SpotTM because its appearance has always coincided with a science-fiction convention. It first blossomed into existence before Celebration III. It sprouted again before Celebration IV, subsided for a brief interval, and then resurfaced the week of the Atlanta Dragon*Con. (For photographic corroboration, see these photos from C. IV.)

How do I know that this particular Chin-Spot heralds a Star Wars Celebration rather than another, lesser convention? Because the Chin-Spot's size was greatly diminished at Dragon*Con. Right now, it's far too protuberant to signify anything but Celebration V.

And why do I, with my anthropological education and postmodern skepticism of magical thinking, trust so blindly in a skin lesion? Because although humans project unduly onto the mechanical universe, our projections often illuminate genuine connections. In such cases, the difference between Force and coincidence is largely semantic. Ancient alchemists observed many real chemical phenomena; they just attributed their operation to occult forces. There may be a scientifically valid causal relation between science-fiction conventions and my Chin-Sport -- increased moisture in the air due to the sweat emissions of LucasFilm employees or something.

Anywho, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again, if not at Celebration V, then through a more ordinary channel: the StarWars.com Blogosphere!

Other Significant News:

Oprah is apparently fat again. What that development signifies, I have no idea. Perhaps Gematriacal analysis of her weight would prove enlightening? Must consult Qabbalah; will return with more information....

Note the use of italics in this blog. I decided to ditch the manuscript-style underlines for clarity's sake, and because they're an unnecessary pretension. But don't expect me to trade my double dashes for those ghastly elongated hyphens anytime soon!

Also, I have achieved semifinalist level in the Writers of the Future Competition, which means that I will receive a laminated bookmark, scores of promotional e-mails from the Church of Scientology -- and a personal critique of my submission by K.D. Wentworth! Now, I'm that much closer to profiting off of my natural loquacity.

In unrelated news, it's neither Sunday nor morning. In related news, I don't care.

That's all for now. Pray to the gods of the Blogosphere that I'll forget next week's entry and disappear for another half a decade.

Force be,
~The Admiral