As I am trying to get my life back on track, I am feeling a pain I have never felt before. Valentines day always make me feel terrible, seeing people with their lovers, and I am stuck with nothing.

This year I had a Valentine, and she wanted to go out with me, and I kinda wanted to go out with her. My only problem is that I am afraid to ever get close to anything ever again. A lot of the thing I hold dearest to my heart have either let me down, of just left. My last relationship lasted 4 months, and suddenly ended a month ago on Valentines Day (ironic!). My brother is the only one that been there for me, the only one I could really talk to, and now he breaking off from me and my family.

As some of you have read, I had a girl about a month ago, and now she dumped me, got a new boy friend, and moved away. Generally I would be pretty happy about this, but I can't. So what she cheated on me and had a boyfriend when we were going out, and was all over her new boy friend when ever I saw her, I still am crazy about her. Whenever something happens that reminds me of her, I just don't know how am supposed not think about her, and want to be with her. I would usually be over her by now, but this is lingering like my grandmother's chicken soup. I get a weird feeling in my head and chest whenever someone mentions her name, of I see a picture of her. Am I better than this, or am I just a weakling.

My brother, the only person out of anybody in the world that truly knows who I am. We have talk about anything any human could possibly think of. The stories I could tell about our adventures would be some of the most ridicules you have ever heard. But, recently he has got himself into some major poo-doo. He has a girlfriend that is 15, and he is 18, and maybe you guessed the my parents don't approve of this behavior. I didn't care until I found what they have done together. Let me just say that he been sneeking out to her house more times than I can count on my fingers and toes, and they went to a hotel room together. He says nothing too drastic happened, like losing his v-card, and I believe him, I just am still in shock that my brother did this. Now that my parents found out they wanted him to dump her, of leave the house. He decided that he was too in love and decided to leave. Let me just say I was in total shock that a girl came between me and him.

My parents didn't want to see their baby boy leave, so they said he could date who he wanted to since he was 18, and he could still live in our house. He has since moved back in, but the rift in the family is huge, like a bomb waiting to go off. My mom said she wants me to side with her, and my brother wants my to side with him, so I am torn between two people. I made the decision that I won't side, but the pressure I am feeling is huge.

I want to find a girl I can be with and love again like my last one, but I am not sure if I can find that in this new girl that wants me. I want that feeling again of being loved by someone outside of my family, and the opposite gender, and once I got that a while ago, it has become an addiction. I am addicted to loving, and girls. I hate that they are able to bend me to their desires and wants, it makes me feel like a lesser man. I want more, but I know I shouldn't. Should I ask this girls out and try and get back in the game, or try and tough it out? I L for love or for loss? Any help would be hot.

PS: Sorry for throwing my problems out their, I hope I don't become a burden.