For centuries, the enigmatic figure known as Santa Claus has charmed, captivated, entralled, and delighted children from every possible location. He has awarded them someone to confide in, to love, to believe in.

But who is this man in red who manages to live in the most barren terrain present on our planet, comparative only to the planet Hoth?

Magic?
The supernatural?
Telepathy?

A Sith Lord???

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Ewoks and Wookies, Trandoshians and Kel Dors, I have now proven conclusively that the identity of the individual known as Santa Claus is synonymous with the Sith Lord, Lord Tyranus, otherwise knwon as Count Dooku of Sereno.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...


Subsequent her first duel with Anakin (as shown in The Clone Wars, Vol. I), Asajj Ventress unexplicably appeared at several other locations around the galaxy to attempt to aid the CIS in the war, such as Preystelin (spelling???) and Ord Cestus, sabotaging the Jedi when possible. However, she eventally receeded from view with the conclusion of the Clone Wars, and the death of her master, Count Dooku, at the hands of Skywalker. This inforamation is certain, and can be verifed.

However, what is not certain, yet is most certainly true, is that, subsequent the Clone Wars, she retrieved the body of her master, and, through ancient Sith cloning techniques, resurrected him in the body of a half clone/ half android manifestation. Wishing to escape the galaxy which had caused her such pain, she fled utilzing a recovered Sith spacecraft, capable of intersteller flight.

Having arrived in our galaxy, she happened upon a small, beautiful but insignificant and primitive world, where many of the sentients appeared to be obsessed with a wierd story where strange-looking people could move things with their mind, and who ran around with shiny sticks. The people with multicolor sticks seemed to dislike those with red sticks, and started to hit them with their sticks.

But, most importantly, these beings could not use the Force.

So, she and the reformed Dooku used the Force to establish a small base in the most barren portion of the planet, where they used levitated tauntaun-looking things, Ewok helpers, and a sophisticated aircraft to deliver presents to children around the world. Asajj later grew old, yet she, too, was able to sustain herself using Sith medition techniques.

Oh, yeah...

A little additive from my little sister -
(I managed to indoctrinate her into liking Star Wars, even though our mom's a trekkie)

(in the tune of BINGO)

Old Count Dooku had a pawn and Jango was his name-o
J-A-N-G-O
J-A-N-G-O
J-A-N-G-O
And Jango was his name-o!


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