Greetings, fellow sentient beings!

I apologize for the rather sporadic nature of my recent entries, but my access to the computer has been limited at best, and nonexistent at times. When school is finally over week after next, I will resume my personal guided tours through the outer reaches of the Fourth Dimension.

Furthermore, for all those of you (all two of you, I should say) who are awaiting the next chapter of my Hero's Cycle, it is in progress, and should be published sometime in the near future (I hope). In the meantime, feel free to enjoy all of my other entries!

Here are some miscellaneous jokes which should serve as a sort of placid interlude to what is to come. In response to The Stooge's Joke-a-Day, and Master Monkey's Joke-a-Whenever, I have decided to create the one, the only (drum roll please....) Quantum Zone!
(applause...intro to Duel of the Fates plays)

(Baron47 forgive me if this name is in any way incorrect, the subject isn't my strongest discipline -- I am an expert in THREE fields: history, mythology, and Star Wars)

QUANTUM ZONE

What did Palpatine say when Nute Gunray asked him about Darth Maul?

He's not half the Sith Lord he used to be!



What Elvis song is Darth Vader's favorite?

I Ain't Nothing But a Sith Lord (Whining All the Time)


I sincerely hope that you are not offended in any manner whatsoever by the next joke. The reason why I am so extraordinarily cautious is that earlier in my blogging "career" a friend (you know, one of those "family friends" that you can never seem to get rid of, that your dad and their dad were old college buddies but you and their kid can't get along, and your mom and their mom can't talk for five minutes without feeling as if they have been listening to Yoda's lectures for five hours --- one of those) managed to wrestle control of the computer while I was showing them my blog, and left the room for a moment, and posted a moderately obscene joke under my name. Needless to say, it was blocked. (and thank the Maker that I was not thrown off!) Consequently, I am exceedingly sensitive to posting ANYTHING offensive on my blog. So please, do NOT be offended by this next joke.

This is a cleaned-up and Star Wars-modified version of a joke from Asimov's Book of Humor, which largely consists of chemist's humor and jokes so clever that they're not even funny anymore. Asimov's a great sci-fi writer (my favorite) but his humor is...huh?

Here goes...

A Corellian senator was reluctantly visiting the country estate of a Naboo dignitary. They talked grudgingly over a sullen dinner, and the conversation had finally managed to brush past endless politics.

"What a delicious Ruby Bliels! I must admit that I have rarely had anything better," said the Corellian senator. "Of course, it isn't a good Corellian ale, but---"

"My dear friend," the Naboo dignitary replied sarcastically, "I'll take you to visit my personal cellar. I drink only the best."

So they went down to the cellar, and the Corellian began to grow more and more jealous of the dignitary's obvious affluence.

"I admit that you have a marvelous estate, and a fine cellar, but we Corellians can out-drink any man from here to the Outer Rim!"

"You think so?! Alright, here's what we'll do. We'll each spend the night in opposite ends of the cellar, and see who has drank more in the morning. Mark the bottles with tally marks on the walls."

"Sure!"

The Corellian sat down and opened one bottle of Corellian vintage and drank hurriedly. He drank one more, slowly, and the third, very, very slow, until he thought he would burst. Weary, he etched three tally marks on the wall, and fell asleep.

The next morning, they compared scores.

"Blast!" uttered the Naboo dignitary. "You beat me by three!"

"Three? What do you mean?"

"I only drank one-hundred-eight bottles!"
(well, I never said that I was attempting to oust The Stooge, but Master Monkey better watch his six! --- just kidding )

Only 25 days until The Clone Wars! There have been some prevalent rumors floating around that Ahsoka's going to die, and I must say that it is only logical to agree. However, I'm sure we've all made some Star Wars assumptions in the past that were gravely confounded by the release of a book, game, or movie. C-3P0 built by Anakin? A clone army created from the genetic structure of Boba's father? Darth Caedus?

Personally, I was profoundly disappointed when Anakin Solo did not return as a Force apparition in Invincible, yet pleasantly surprised when I discovered that Shaak Ti would participate in TFU. But never, never, never, not in a billion years, would I EVER guess that Anakin would be given a padawaan learner.

If you haven't seen them yet, The Force.net went and tested TFU earlier this week, and has some spoliers for the beginning of the game, as well as some general information on game play. It makes my mouth water just to think about it!!!!

I guess the next Batman movie (I forget what it's called) is coming out, but I have no real interest in that except for the sinister appearance of certain Jedi Master who looks really, really good with or without the long hair in Batman Begins. But if you're going to see it, enjoy! I'm more interested in the LEGO game, personally.

One final point...

I'm about to start a series of blog entries designated to speaking Mando'a, starting with the numbers one to ten, below. I memorized them in a day or two, as a break from Chinese, and it wasn't hard at all. Oya!

1 - solus

2 - t'ad

3 - ehn

4 - cuir

5 - rayshe'a

6- resol

7- e'tad

8 -she'ehn

9 - she'cu

10 - ta'raysh


WARNING - PLEASE SHIELD YOUR EYES FROM THE SCREEN FOR A MOMENT AS YOU REVERT TO YOUR NORMAL SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM OR THE EFFECT MAY BE PERMANENTLY BLINDING

NOTICE - THE FIFTH DIMENSION, QUANTUM ZONE, AND QUI-GON REBORN ASSUME NO RESPONSBILITY FOR ANY NEURAL OR RETINAL DAMAGE SUSTAINED DURING SPACE-TIME REVERSION - NOTICE