I'm still not awake yet, so please forgive my stream of consciousness rambling. There was a note on the coffee pot this morning informing us that the office has switched to decaf.

I have no idea what started me thinking about this, but for some reason, this just came to me: When Luke turned himself over to the Empire to try and save Anakin, he was actually following the first piece of advice Kenobi gave him after his introduction to the Jedi began.

Now I know that some will say, "But Kenobi wanted Luke to destroy Vader, how can Luke's actions be following Kenobi's advice?"

Simple. Recall back in ANH, when Kenobi was trying to get Luke to leave Tatooine and go w/ith him to Alderaan, Luke said he couldn't leave home but could take Kenobi to Anchorhead so he could catch a transport. Kenobi then told Luke, "You must do what you feel is right, of course."

And that is what Luke did in ROTJ. He felt that showing compassion to his father, that trying to forge a connection between father and son, and that bringing hope to one imprisoned by despair and self-hate more than a metal iron lung suit were the right things to do. He chose a path that was far more difficult than the one Kenobi and Yoda guided him toward, but their choice was by no means "quick and easy."

This leads to an interesting dichotemy of perceptions between Luke and Kenobi. When Kenobi stares at the armored Vader, he can only see the machine, the monster, the murderer. He who knew Anakin personally for about 15 years could no longer see his friend and student. There was only Vader. Luke, who had only known shades of Anakin for most of his life and who had only just recently learned that Anakin still lived, could see only Anakin when he gazed at the mask.

Kenobi had experiences that Luke did not have with Anakin. Kenobi trained him, functioning as a teacher, a friend, a father, and an older brother. Anakin saved Kenobi's life nine or ten times depending on whether or not one counts Cato Nemoidia. Kenobi saw the results of the Jedi Purge, including Anakin's slaughtering of the younglings. Kenobi saw a man who (for reasons that appear to be unknown to him) turned willingly to the Dark Side in a quest for power and glory.

Luke, on the other hand, saw something very different. He saw the face of a monster slowly become that of a man as they talked on Bespin. He saw his father open up to him - something he did not have to do - stretch out his hand, and attempt a connection. Yes, Anakin/Vader wanted to turn Luke to the Dark Side, but in his own corrupted way, that may have been an attempt to protect his son from an ordered execution...or death at the Emperor's hands. And on Endor, Luke saw a man who had given up hope...a man who believed that he could no longer be saved, that he had to continue down this path, that there was no other way.

Luke knew there was another way for Anakin. Luke knew that as long as there is breath - even breath aided by mechanical devices - there is still hope. And so he chose a path that would allow him to demonstrate that to his father, and demonstrate that he did by turning back from the Dark Side as he stared into its abyss and it stared back at him in the form of the mechanical stump of Vader's sword arm. By turning back, Luke illuminated (yes, that's a play on the etymological history of his name..bad joke) gave Anakin the courage to do what he felt was right...and we all know the rest of the story.

Now, not everyone can be saved. Luke knew that. He knew there was a possibility that the good he felt in his father would be choked out by the weeds of the Dark Side. He knew that with the Emperor's corrupting presence so near that Anakin would have a very difficult time emerging from Vader. He knew there was a chance of failure, which is why he told Leia, "I have to try."

And that is the key: rehabilitation, reintegration, restoration should not be immediately dismissed when discussions about how to handle one who has fallen. They are, after all, the most spiritually and psychologically beautiful ends to what would otherwise be a great tragedy: the destruction of a human life. However, they are not always possible, and the realization of such a fact in the life of a loved one is a tragedy in and of itself.

Why am I writing this? I have no clue actually. Well, that might not be true. I'm starting to get the "semester is almost over and now I'm overwhelmed" feeling. Whenever I get this way, I'm tempted to either shut down and wait until the last minute to do things or try to "run away where the pressure can't find me.

But then I hear this voice in my head say, "You haven't made an appointment to recite your sonnet yet." And to explain, that's the voice of a former professor of mine: Dr. Leo Luke Marcello. He taught one of my survey British Lit classes as an undergrad. Part of his requirements included memorizing a Shakespearean sonnet ("When to the sessions of sweet, silent thought...") and reciting it to him in his office. The assignment was worth only 5 points, and after the midterm and the research paper, I had enough points to guarantee that even if I failed the final, I'd still have an A in the class. So, I was going to blow it off.

But Dr. Marcello tracked me down and pulled out his date book. He then told me, "You haven't made an appointment to recite your sonnet yet." So, I made an appointment and quickly memorized the sonnet. I still remember it to this day. And after that, each time I started to try and take the "quick and easy path," I start to hear his voice in my head reminding me about that sonnet. And thinking about it, Dr. Marcello was a lot like Luke in one regard: he saw the good in everyone - even those believed to have none. He always encouraged his students - both current and former ones still at the university. And he would do anything he could to help those who needed it. If I actually push through and get that PhD, I hope to be 1/10 the teacher and mentor he was.

So, I guess all of these things are coming together in my semi-awake brain. I usually roll my eyes when people bring up cheery messages of hope, so I'm trying not to do that. But you know, maybe hope is the greatest gift we have. It was what was left in Pandora's box. In the Sandman comics, "hope" is the form that allows Dream to defeat the demon Choronzon and get his helm of office back. It was hope that led Luke to try and redeem Anakin, and his hope paid off.

Maybe what ultimately matters is having someone who believes in you. Anakin had Luke to believe in his goodness when even he did not believe. Maybe having that person and knowing that they have faith in your abilities is what gives us the courage to go out into the world and do what we feel is right in spite of the dangers and difficulties in the path ahead.

With that in mind, I need to get back to work preparing for a presentation today and getting a paper finished.

May the Force be with you.