Hey Bounty Hunter fans,

Meesa back! Yes, that's right, the galaxy's number one favorite bounty hunter is back with another Diary entry. This one goes out to you-- the fans.

Where have I been? Well, I will tell you-- answering FAN MAIL. Yep, it's true. Now maybe Boba Fett has the biggest mail bag, but I've got QUALITY, folks. And the humor! Oh, I can't tell you how many times I get some joker joshing with me: "Are you a bug?" or "Did you ever actually catch anyone?" or my favorite: "You suck."

The fans are great. They love to joke with me because I'm accessible. IG-88 scares people. I tell him that constantly. "You're 8 feet of jagged metal pieces. You need to soften your image!"

Anyhoo. I was cruising the Holonet and I came across this interesting entry on Bounty Hunter Slang.
Well, what can I say? Good effort, but if you want the straight poop on bounty hunter slang, come to the source.

And the source of the poop is ME.

Er..

Anyway. Here's a list of REAL bounty hunter slang. Feel free to use this in casual conversation, the next time you are hanging out at the cantina next to Bossk. And remind him that he owes me five bucks for that latte.

A&A: Armed and angry. Generally used to describe Wookiees and Trandoshan bounties, but sometimes applied to smaller species, like Ewoks and Jawas. Some of those little monsters can BITE. I could tell you stories.

Bon-bons: Smaller bounties that can be easily picked up for quick cash. Also, delicious chocolate candies to gobble while you're watching "Short Circuit" with IG-88 for like the eighty millionth time.

Bouncer: Any bounty dropped from high altitude (say, quite accidentally out of the cargo hold because your idiot droid partner didn't secure the door) who survives the mishap.

Dikut: A term of high-regard and respect. Boba Fett has described me as a dikut many times.

Mess: Any bounty dropped who doesn't survive.

Oops: Sometimes, despite all the best intentions, someone leaves a rifle lying at such an angle, and maybe there's a slight bump coming out of hyperspace, and the rifle goes off and it vaporizes just the head of your bounty, who's been handcuffed to the chair in the back of the ship. Now... is this really your fault? Should your client freak out and get angry? I don't think so. I think this is just an "Oops." It happens.

Psych!: The moment when you have a drop on your bounty, and you say "Freeze, grub!" and he spins around and you go to lay on some firepower and you realize that 4LOM didn't load any frakking ammunition in your rifle and your bounty ends up beating you up and dragging you around the streets behind a hover-bike. (By the way, this hardly ever happens to me anymore.)

Pulling a 4LOM: Failure to think, or general idiotic behavior, such as forgetting to load weapons with ammunition... for instance.

Roaster: A bounty on the wrong side of a flame-thrower. (This is handy and useful when describing most or all of Boba Fett's prisoners.)

Zuckuss: The state of being the galaxy's number one coolest and sexiest bounty hunter.

Okay kids. That's it for today. Hope you had fun, and maybe learned a little something... about yourself.

And that's one to grow on.

Your pal,

Zuckuss.


p.s. Keep the fan mail coming! And hey, where's the Zuckuss comic book and/or novel, anyway?? What am I, chopped bantha? (I mean, I know I LOOK like chopped bantha, but I'm not ACTUALLY chopped bantha.)