Nothing says Star Wars.. more than Red Six..Jek Porkins..
The Rebellion's Supersized Secret Weapon.... the perfect male specimen..
cat like reflexes... ladies man..
Porkins could bullseye a Bantha Burger, fries, and a shake at 100 meters.
Porkins.. "Defeat the Empire..? No. But I am going to take a Big Bite.."
6 Little Known Facts about The Infamous Jek Porkins

1. Porkins never really died. His weight carried him to the core of the Death Star and caused its destruction. Due to sincronicity, Luke shot at the weak point at the Same time Jek hit the core. This was the cause for much resentment on Jek's part. Luke got the medal, Jek got to wash his jockey shorts.

Further evidence to Jek's survival is the question from the X-Wing commander who asks "Red 6, do you see Red 5?" This question was posed after Porkin's "Fatal" crash. He obviously responds for the leader does not question any other fighters.

2. Jek Porkins and Luke Skywalker are a lot alike. They both have evil fathers. Their mothers whereabouts are also unknown. As Luke had Darth Vader, Porkins had Lars Vegan. Lars was a nasty bugger. He could melt bones and muscle in a single glance. He was known as the Dead-Eye. His aim was legendary and infallable. Porkins used his Porkins Force (The Phat Side of the Force) to confront his father. Not much is known about the terrible struggle between father and son. there was a lot of cussing, spitting, clawuing fighting and meat and vegtable throwing. In the end, Lars painfully died of a heart attack. His final words were:

"I can't believe you're my son........tell your sister you were right."

To this day, we believe that Lars was either mistaken or had alhzeheimers disease. The only possible sibling we could find was Boba Fett, the famous bounty hunter. When we sent one of our men out to verify this, Boba did not comment, but just disintegrated him without any more thought. This means we must have hit a nerve.

Our people believe that one of the reasons that Jek joined the Rebel Alliance was to ####-off his brother/sister, Boba. Think about it, Jek, Boba...both are weird names.

3. Jek is his own side of the force. Think about it.

4. Jek is everyone. Actually, because Jek was so angered with Luke, he decided to kidnap Leia and replace her. He could do this because, as previously stated, he was his own side of the force. This is proved by the TV show "The Muppet Babies." In that show they did a spoof of Star Wars, where Piggy played Leia. Pig = PORK!! ; therefore, Porkins. In fact, before the end of the series, Porkins had replaced all characters whose names ended with an "A" (excepting, of course, his sister Boba). No one knows exactly why he did this; it is suspected that it was just because he had a love/hate relationship with Luke and Han.

5. His first name is Jek!

6. His middle name is trouble.

Jek Porkins was a free trader from the Bestine system. On his homeworld of Bestine IV, he perfected his piloting and gunnery skills with his civilian T-16. When the Empire established a new high-security base in the area, the entire population of Bestine IV had to be relocated. While much of the populace attempted to remain neutral in the Galactic Civil War, Porkins heard the stirring words of Princess Leia Organa, and joined the Rebellion.

As a pilot in the Rebellion, Porkins ranked an impressive record of 16 confirmed kills in under 40 hours of actual combat flight time. His prowess remained unchallenged in the oft-neglected strafing run. For his expertise and his girth, he was nicknamed "Belly Runner."

What are your thoughts on Porkins?
Man, Myth, or Legend?

http://porkins.home.insightbb.com/figure.htm
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