Today is a day of mourning. Today is the fifth aniversary of September 11 2001. On the fateful Tuesday American's sat glued to their T.V's as terror unfolded before their eye's. In Carmel, Indiana a young boy just starting his fifth grade year stared in horror as the state of his birth was thrown into chaos. He sat there, bewildered. " Why would someone do this? " He ask's himself for no one else seem's to have an answer. That night he silently cries as his eye's flutter closed, wondering what grief tommorow will bring him.

You've probably guessed that the little boy was me. On Tuesday, September 11th, 2001 I sat in horror, watching a New York, my true home, was destroyed. I watched as the brave, tough, strong-minded individual's I'd come to expect from New York ran in terror as the Twin Tower's fell. I saw civilian's run away as fire fighter's ran in. I couldn't bielive my eye's. I had stayed home sick that day and my brother also had a doctor's appoitment. As we listened to the radio the Twin Tower's fell and the Pentagon was attacked. I sat there, terrified beyond imagination. As a young boy I just couldn't comprehend why someone would do this. I cried when we dropped my brother off at school. I was conviced they were coming after me and my family next. I don't know why, I guess I was just scared.

When we went home I decided I didn't want to see this any more. So I went up to my room and put on A New Hope, my favorite Star Wars movie at the time. Some how I managed to forget about what was happening right then in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania. But that relief didn't last long. I just couldn't shake the dread that they were coming after Carmel, Indiana next. I wandered down stair's a clung to my Mom all the rest of the day. I started to think about my family, all of them still in New York. My Grandma had called but we couldn't reach my Uncle in Forrest Hills or my Aunt in North Caldwell. Yes I know that's in Jersey, but I couldn't help but wonder...The first thing my Grandma said was " I'm so glad your all safe out there in Indiana." Safe was the last thing I felt like. I felt more like I had a target painted on me.

That night the President came on the T.V. to adress the nation. I assumed that this would calm my nerves, that President Bush would say something to convince me I was safe. But half way through the speach I broke down and cried in terror again. I was just so scared. I'd never been so scared in my life. To this day I've never been more scared then I was then. As I lay down to sleep that night I requested my brother sleep in my room with me. I lay on the floor while he was in my bed. I sat there, stareing out the window and I couldn't help but think that once I was asleep they'd attack Carmel and I'd never wake up again.

Looking back on that day I almost fell ashamed of myself. I know now that there isn't anything out here worth attacking. I know now that they weren't targeting me specifically. But in a way, they were. I know that my fear's were justified. I know I had the absolute right to be terrified that day. They were attacking all American's and as an American they were attacking me to, but not as directly as I feared. On that day the whole country held it's breath. We all watched as hero's were born and great people were taken away. We saw proof that there was evil, but we also saw the power and grace of God.. On that day the country banded together as one while we watched as the ultimate evil was commited. But we stood together and we stood strong. And while the beautiful New York skyline will never be the same, we will always be the same in the fact that we will never falter in the face of evil.

May God bless you and May the Force guide you safely.