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Slow's Rebel Ramblings
by: slow
date posted: Jun 10, 2009 8:06 AM
The crazy things kids do
As a small boy I was known to be a little weird. I didn't like sports. I liked to read and draw and just be a goofy kid. Which is what kids are supposed to be like.

At the ripe old age of 11, in the year 1977, I discovered the joys of movies. Or at least one movie in particular.

Now I've blogged about this before but the chances of me getting a Star Wars figure were slim to none, so I started working. This work brought me a little bit of money with which to buy the $2.99 action figures. My first purchases were Walrus Man, Hammerhead, C-3PO and R2-D2. To my dismay, R2 click rather than beeped.

I could not stand to twist his head and get that clicking sound so I thought I'd have a go at whistling. Well, I couldn't whistle. I could pucker up and blow endless amounts of air through the pressed opening of my lips, but no sounds were present save for that noise you make when you run out of breath. I tried and tried but with no luck. To rub it in my brother would walk around whistling all day. I was stuck with making "beep bop boop bop" noises all day for R2.

Then determination set in. For a solid week of summer vacation I would not beep or boop. I would not listen to the clicking and clacking of R2's head. Rather, I sat in front of a mirror rolling my tongue and pressing my cheeks in with my hands until I emitted the faintest sound of a whistle. Victory was mine! I studied and dissected the shape of my mouth and tongue and remembered the position of both. I was on the verge of a full on discovery here.

For weeks everyone had to put up with my faint, toneless whistling. Sort of like the teapot whistle just before it really lets out the sound to let you know it's ready. That was me. I was just about ready.

Then it happened. The faint whistle grew to a much louder whistle. The louder whistle became a whistle that could range in pitch. The pitch adjusted so that it could be long or short bursts of noise. I had found my inner R2 voice and nothing was going to stop it.

There was so much more interaction in my playing from then on. R2 would gladly join in with all aspects of action figure theater from that point on. To put this all in perspective, my brother, as I was just reminded of last night, learned to whistle when he was 5 because of the cute little girl who lived across the street. I learned to whistle at a later age so I could play with my Star Wars figures just a little bit better.

Now my OCD did not stop with that. I was also a Star Trek fan. My favorite character being Spock. Of course, I could not do the Vulcan salute. I remember, after eons of trying, to do something about it. It is amazing what one can accomplish with scotch tape and the idiotic desire to do something mundane. It didn't help that Mork from Ork had taken the Vulcan greeting, turned it on it's side and uttered the phrase "Nanoo nanoo".

I took the tape and wrapped it around my Pinky and Ring fingers and then the same with my Index and Middle fingers. Not to ever be outdone, I did this to both hands. With my fingers securely attached to the proper mates I spent an entire Saturday forcing my muscles to work in a way that they had no desire to do. It was actually quite painful but the ability to salute Spock if I ever met him knew no boundaries.

At the end of that day I took off the tape, stood proudly in front of the mirror, brought my hand up to say "Live Long and Prosper" and realized I couldn't even move my fingers. I had worked them so much that they had tightened up and would not budge. Not even to make a fist. With supper quickly approaching I needed to take drastic measures to make sure I could grasp the spoon for the soup we were most assuredly going to have.

I took my stiffened hands and with the loose thumb on each began to move my fingers into a curved pattern. It did not feel good. After a few minutes they began to loosen up as I grasped them and moved them back and forth with my thumbs.

Then, the moment of truth. I stood up straight. Held up my hand. Told my fingers to spread in the proper grouping and there it was. The Vulcan Salute! Being excited about this I just had to go and show my brother, who looked at me and made the same move with no thought or effort and then in to my dad, who did the same as my brother. Well, that was ok. Just a few hours earlier I could not accomplish this great feat and now I could.

My fingers can still easily make the Vulcan salute and I I owe it all to a day of pushing the limits of my fingers. Of course I can still whistle but the new R2 units have that capability as well.

HERE are some other things I did....