Better luck next time, vat_monkey! Heh heh heh.

I was actually surprised that I won, since I've been trying to buy this silly book for the last seven years. This is mostly because I remember flipping through Wretched Hives of Scum & Villainy at the B. Dalton bookstore in my local mall and being fairly shocked to see an illustration of a Nagai warrior. In those days, references in modern Star Wars literature to the Marvel Comics were rare (save by the intrepid Andy Mangels, whose attempts to weave the Marvel Comics into continuity in the first edition of the Essential Guide to Characters were admirable if at times clumsy), as a few folks with loud voices overgeneralized the faults with a few of the comics to extend to the entire run. The stigma survives to this day, and has been transplanted to some degree to the West End Games and Bantam era of books, a fairly predictable occurrence. Out with the old, in with the new is the popular mantra of pragmatic idealists in every new age.

Wretched Hives of Scum & Villainy is a toughie to find. At a reasonable price, anyway. I've been even more motivated to find it since I learned my buddy Joe Corroney contributed artwork to the book. Wretched Hives was one of the last books published by the West End Games roleplaying company before it abruptly declared bankruptcy. I remember receiving the crushing news about WEG going belly-up in 1998, just after returning from a trip to Orlando, Florida. (The answer is, "Yes, until I got a headache"***). At the time, I had been in e-mail contact with the then editor of WEG's Star Wars Adventure Journal Eric S. Trautmann. I always wrote to him as intelligently and genuinely as was within my power, and he always came off as a pretty cool dude. (Well, there was that one time I asked about the chances of the Adventure Journal publishing Tom Veitch's Lightsider. A resounding "no" doesn't quite capture the spirit of Eric's response). So, I finally got up the balls to go in for the kill and ask what was required to publish in the Adventure Journal.

"Usually," Eric said, "we require writers to be previously published." And my heart dropped. Again with this stupid previously published rule! Just like when you get rejected for that dream job you really want to get into, or by that school you really want to get into, or by that girl you really want to get (you get the picture), my heart broke into a billion little pieces.

Quarks. I think the pieces were quarks.

Putting myself together long enough to continue reading the e-mail, however, I came across one simple question.

"Have you ever written for your local or college newspaper?"

My heart soared!

The answer to the question was that I hadn't. In fact, I'd barely begun college. But this was something within my grasp! A light at the end of the tunnel! I'd been published in my high school paper, so I figured it couldn't be much tougher. There were no promises on Eric's end, but I was smart enough to take a hint. I went away to Orlando happier than an Ewok at a roast Corellian dinner, certain that I would soon be writing Star Wars in an official capacity. I vigorously took out my optimism on the Star Tours ride at DisneyWorld, riding again and again until I whipped this fantasy into properly epic, Death Star-like proportions.

You may have foreseen what comes next.

That's right. Kaboom.

When I returned, I found West End Games in shambles, along with my lightsaber and hyperspace dreams. WEG's parent company, some sort of shoe manufacturer, had run into financial trouble, and the reverberations from creditors knocking at the door ran all the way down to its little roleplaying game business.

I immediately e-mailed Mr. Trautmann: Say it ain't so, Eric! Say it ain't so! But it was apparently, since I never received a response.

Small consolation that it was, I found that the now-bankrupt WEG was selling practically every Star Wars title in their warehouse at rock bottom prices. Looking on the bright side, I figured now that the company was kaput, I'd finally be able to catch up on all those books of theirs that I hadn't read yet. You know, in case anyone else ever published the Star Wars roleplaying game again...

But that's another story. This is the story of Wretched Hives of Scum & Villainy, which WEG was selling in its massive liquidation. However, if I recall correctly, they were not selling all their books at closeout prices. Their newer books, such as Wretched Hives, remained at or near their cover price cost. Always the bargain shopper, not to mention bitter that my illusory dreams had been proton torpedoed, I was damned if I was gonna pay full price for this book.

And so, seven years later, here I was with a glaring hole in my Star Wars roleplaying game collection. But just look at how my patience has paid off! I'm paying $14.34 (shipping included) for a book that originally cost $18! That's a savings of $3.66! Over 20.333333333333333333333%!

Boy, was that worth it! Was that ever worth it!

...Damn you Wretched End Games. Damn you. ~ Abel G. Peņa
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***The Question: "Did you go to DisneyWorld and ride Star Tours?" Besides Star Tours and the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, the MGM Studios part of DisneyWorld is arguably the Boringest Place on Earth. Other than Star Wars Weekends or to buy some exclusive Star Tours action figures, steer clear friend.

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