And you thought the Star Wars Holiday Special was Lucasfilm's dirtiest secret.

Those of you who read my "Five Goofiest Moments of Star Wars" supplement in Star Wars Insider's 20 Most Memorable Moments of the Expanded Universe article will be among the few who have heard of "Ewoks on Ice."

In 1986, Ice Capades, Inc. put on an ice show extraordinaire entitled BRAND AMERICA: BOLD-BRIGHT-BEAUTIFUL. Produced and Directed by Robert Turk, the show included such unforgettable numbers as "Lights - Camera - Hollywood!" "Those Zany Flicks" and Romeo and Juliet on ice. But of most interest to Star Wars fans was the show bridging the intermission: The Ewoks and the Magic Sunberries.

The program bills the production as "A tale for kids, 3 to 93!" and tells us it was written by Anne Snyder (who may or may not be the same Anne Snyder who worked on General Hospital and The Lucy Show). A few pictures of ice performers wearing Ewok costumes in the style of their cartoon likenesses appear in the program as well as some Duloks. The program also includes a poem:

On the mystic moon of Endor,
Where enchanted forests grow,
There dwells a furry fellowship,
The Ewoks, don't' you know!

The Ewoks live in giant trees,
They're busy all the day,
But around the bonfire every night,
They sing and dance and play!

The story teller is Logray,
An Ewok old and wise,
He now begins a classic tale
Of Life Beyond our skies.

You'll need a course in "Ewokese",
To help you understand
The glories and the triumphs
Of this hardy, happy clan!

Sit back, relax, enjoy yourself,
Bravo! You're on your way!
Presto! Chango! "Be-che-wa-wa",
You're an Ewok for the day!

Don't believe me? Maybe you'll believe this mp3:

EWOK RAP

I would love to get my hands on some footage or even the script. This may or may not be an adaptation of an Ewoks cartoon episode. If anyone has any information on this show, or (gasp!) actually saw it, please drop me a line! ~ Abel G. Peņa

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