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Only Sith Deal In Absolutes!

by: Halagad

date posted: Dec 10, 2005 6:57 PM | updated: Feb 12, 2009 9:38 PM

Ewoks at the Ice Capades

And you thought the Star Wars Holiday Special was Lucasfilm's dirtiest secret.

Those of you who read my "Five Goofiest Moments of Star Wars" supplement in Star Wars Insider's 20 Most Memorable Moments of the Expanded Universe article will be among the few who have heard of "Ewoks on Ice."

In 1986, Ice Capades, Inc. put on an ice show extraordinaire entitled BRAND AMERICA: BOLD-BRIGHT-BEAUTIFUL. Produced and Directed by Robert Turk, the show included such unforgettable numbers as "Lights - Camera - Hollywood!" "Those Zany Flicks" and Romeo and Juliet on ice. But of most interest to Star Wars fans was the show bridging the intermission: The Ewoks and the Magic Sunberries.

The program bills the production as "A tale for kids, 3 to 93!" and tells us it was written by Anne Snyder (who may or may not be the same Anne Snyder who worked on General Hospital and The Lucy Show). A few pictures of ice performers wearing Ewok costumes in the style of their cartoon likenesses appear in the program as well as some Duloks. The program also includes a poem:

On the mystic moon of Endor,
Where enchanted forests grow,
There dwells a furry fellowship,
The Ewoks, don't' you know!

The Ewoks live in giant trees,
They're busy all the day,
But around the bonfire every night,
They sing and dance and play!

The story teller is Logray,
An Ewok old and wise,
He now begins a classic tale
Of Life Beyond our skies.

You'll need a course in "Ewokese",
To help you understand
The glories and the triumphs
Of this hardy, happy clan!

Sit back, relax, enjoy yourself,
Bravo! You're on your way!
Presto! Chango! "Be-che-wa-wa",
You're an Ewok for the day!

Don't believe me? Maybe you'll believe this mp3:

EWOK RAP

Star Wars fan Wari has also tracked down some footage from the infamous act here, which appears at 7:51 into the video.

I would love to get my hands on any additional footage or even the script. This may or may not be an adaptation of an Ewoks cartoon episode. If anyone has any information on this show, or (gasp!) actually saw it, please drop me a line! ~ Abel G. Pe�a

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Click here to hide comments for this entry

	DarthHorsepower Canons of Honor
date Posted: Dec 10, 2005 8:04 PM May I be the first to say that the .mp3 file there is just plain disturbing.

	jkthunder Seven Pieces
date Posted: Dec 10, 2005 9:00 PM YOURE SCARING ME!!!!

	Rive Caedo Rive's Uncharted Settlements
date Posted: Dec 10, 2005 9:51 PM I think I would be very glad to be 94 on that day. Still not sure if it surpasses the Holiday Special though.

	The Dark Moose Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Dec 10, 2005 10:33 PM I listened to that MP3 And imagined such a scene Of Ewoks throwing gang signs and wearing baggy jeans Its odd to think of Ewoks Doing things as skaters I aint seen no ice on Endor But hey, I aint no hater :0) DM out

	Son of a Bith The Cantina Corner
date Posted: Dec 10, 2005 11:11 PM (locks room, turns out the lights, hides under the covers, and lies down whimpering in the fetal position)

	Halagad Only Sith Deal In Absolutes!
date Posted: Dec 12, 2005 2:29 PM May I be the first to say that the .mp3 file there is just plain disturbing. First, but far from last. BTW, love your blog name. The early Mandalorians are my favorite. YOURE SCARING ME!!!! There is no escape. Still not sure if it surpasses the Holiday Special though. You're probably right, but it's the strongest candidate I've yet found.

	Halagad Only Sith Deal In Absolutes!
date Posted: Dec 12, 2005 4:15 PM Dark Moose, your skills are ill.... er, I mean complete. (locks room, turns out the lights, hides under the covers, and lies down whimpering in the fetal position) It is useless to resist, Son of a Bith. Ice skating Ewoks are known to find you wherever you hide.

	The Dark Moose Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Dec 14, 2005 2:10 PM Dark Moose, your skills are ill.... er, I mean complete You don't know the mad skillz of the Dizark Sizide, yo... :0)

	Halagad Only Sith Deal In Absolutes!
date Posted: Dec 14, 2005 2:24 PM UNLIMITED PIZOWER!

	The Dark Moose Moose Poodoo
date Posted: Dec 14, 2005 5:10 PM LOL :0) You've totally ruined that scene for me now :0) I'm going to superimpose that every time

	^_^ flying sith monkey ^_^
date Posted: Jan 03, 2006 10:06 PM Ok... That was weird.

	macewindu882 Don't Go All Chewie On Me!
date Posted: Feb 14, 2006 5:30 AM Two words: Extremely Disturbing.

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