I've been thinking a lot about Darth Vader the past couple of days. Inspired by an excellent blog entry by anakinside1 and some truly amazing fan-fiction by Kenobi-fan, I've been trying to figure out why I feel so much more strongly about Anakin Skywalker than I ever did about Luke or Leia or even Obi-wan, for that matter (though Obi-wan fascinates me more with every SW viewing).

anakinside1's blog entry begs the question: Can You Forgive Vader? To be honest, I had some trouble coming up with reasons not to forgive him. And certainly there should be reasons, right? He killed anyone and everyone in his path who crossed him. If the Emporer said to kill someone, Darth Vader did it. Without thought. Without consideration. Without remorse. Right?

I'm not so sure. As far as we know, Anakin's brain function, his thought processes, were not injured in his duel with Obi-wan on Mustafar, nor were they affected in his physical transformation into the black-suited Darth Vader. I have no reason to believe that the anguished, tortured mind of Anakin, the man who pondered and considered and thought so, so much about all the things happening in his life before he pledged himself to the Dark Side, didn't still agonize about the state of his life inside the suit. Why would that stop?

When I hear about a person whose disability affects his body while his mind is fully intact, I have to say that I ache for that man. When I hear stories about such a man's upbeat attitude or accomplishments in life, I am blown away, sure that I would never have this strength and courage, and I pray that I never have to test this thought. Surely there are few things as difficult to deal with in this life than that. (...and I stand in awe of those who must deal with it)

I consider Anakin Skywalker to be in a similar state. While I acknowledge that he chose the path that he is on, I don't believe he actually had much of a choice. We are all a product of our upbringing, of the life we've been exposed to and what we know, and I believe Anakin did the best he could with what he had. What support did he have? Just about everyone in Anakin's life took from him...needed him, wanted him, expected something from him. Once he left his mother's side, who was there for Anakin Skywalker when he needed someone?

From the very first time I saw what is now A New Hope in 1977, I knew that there was more to this monster in the black suit. I can picture seeing DV in his wounded fighter, spinning off into space, and I thought, "Hmmmm...He'll be back. There's more to this guy than just a villain." The viewer can almost see eyes through the mask in that scene, and for me, there was a glimpse into the heart imprisoned beneath the evil.

From that point on in the OT, there are flashes of the Anakin we come to know in the PT, but the most significant one takes place during the scene on the bridge on Endor between Darth Vader and his son, Luke, in ROTJ. Many have heard me say that if I could alter one scene in the OT, it would be this one (and it would be sooooooooooooooooooooooo easy). This is where I speculate most about what Anakin is thinking. Anakin, not Darth Vader. Even in 1983, I wondered about the man, Anakin Skywalker.

James Earl Jones did a masterful acting job with just his voice, for the viewer hears the pain Anakin feels as he tells Luke, "It is...too late for me now." Obi-wan is there on that bridge that day, as DV acknowledges, but so is Padme...and Qui-Gon...and Yoda... They are all there in Anakin's mind, calling to him, questioning him, and at that point, keeping his pain alive.

I like to think that the fact that this scene takes place on a bridge...from the place where Luke AND Anakin's family (Leia) is at that time, to the ship that would take them to the Death Star 2, where Anakin reclaims his family with his son's help, is significant. It is there that the gap between Anakin and his past life is bridged as well. Father and son. Son and his father. A bond in a place where none existed.

Can you imagine what was going through Anakin Skywalker's mind?