It's a Birthday Blog!!!!!

Yup! That's right I'm turning 30 today. I haven't opened any presents so I can't amaze you with exciting tales of all the SW loot I raked in (though my husband has promised to take me jewelry shopping and I do have my eyes on some earrings that look suspiciously like my lovely avatar's ). But ever since I fell in love with SW and learned that we were the same age it's one of those little details of my fandom that has helped me believe that SW and I are meant to be.

Usually birthdays sail right by me, the number changes, but I feel exactly the same. I remember back when I turned 10 I called time (Do people do that anymore!?!) so that I would know precisely when the clock turned to 8:24 am - the exact moment of my entry into this world, and therefore, I felt, the moment I would truly turn 10. Well, when the lady on the line said in her automated voice that it was indeed "8:24 and 30 seconds" I went wild running around the house and shouting "I'm ten! I'm ten!" On the inside though I remember thinking "Huh, I don't feel the least bit different." I actually didn't even feel that excited, but I had made such a big production out of making sure to know the exact moment and calling time, that I felt like I ought to give my fans (read: my mom) some kind of show....

Since that's the way Birthdays usually feel for me. It's been quite a surprise to find that this one feels so significant. I think it's because for the first time I actually feel different. When I think of who I was 10 years ago when I turned 20, and who I am now the changes are overwhelming. The 20's for me have been a decade of radical change. They've been "in the trenches" emotionally speaking, and I'm not the only one with scars because of them. None of my family has emerged from my 20's unscathed.

Now, I don't want you to think I've been weaving a path of random destruction over the last 10 years, I've just been growing up, but sometimes that's all it takes to change everything.

How does SW fit into all of this? SW came into my life when I needed it most. When I went to the theater that fateful night the weekend ROTS opened I was looking for escape and entertainment, but what I got was more than I ever expected. To paraphrase an old hero of mine: "SW opened a door and I walked into a life." What I've learned from SW is that everything means something and that everything is connected. I used to read stories of mythology as nothing more than interesting and antiquated historical perspectives. Now I see that they are actually the story of my life in disguise, that they are current and relevant, and the first character who taught me that was Anakin Skywalker. I used to feel that my life began at my birth in 1977, but my story like SW is actually much older. Like SW I have roots that extend back through the generations, and back through the old stories that run in an unbroken line from me (and all of us) to the first storytellers, and the first families. SW and I came into the world in 1977, but we are also, both of us, much older than that.

So, I'm ready now to lay my 20's to rest with all of the tenderness I can muster, and I can't wait to see what happens next! Most of all, I am so glad to have all of you with me as I turn over this page and start the next chapter.

Lots of love to you all!!!!