Secrets can be slippery, tricky, sometimes downright nasty things.

My daughter has an American Girl activity book that includes a 'getting to know your mom' interview. So the other day I let her put me on the hot seat and ask me a bunch of girlie stuff about the things I did when I was her age. One of the questions asked who my best friend was growing up, and my daughter realized she didn't know the answer to that one. I explained to her that my childhood best friend and I had a falling out when we were in college, and I hadn't seen her since then.

The grown-up version goes something like this: best friend meets bad boy. Bad boy cheats on best friend (repeatedly). Dumb boyfriend gets caught in lie by me; dumb me tells best friend bad boy is a dog.

Final score: bad boy, 1. Friendship, 0.

I know - emphasis on dumb me; maybe if I had sat on the incriminating evidence that revealed boyfriend to be the dog we all knew he was, we'd still be friends today.

But we're all faced with these decisions in our relationships at one point or another: to tell what you know, thereby cleansing one's conscience, or keep your secrets, and, presumably, your friendship, safe?

Now, our buddies in the GFFA had some doosies to grapple with:

1. Padme/Anakin & Obi-Wan and the Bun in the Amidala Oven: We all know Anakin was too proud to tell Obi-Wan about his dilemma; Padme seems to want to confide in him, but, as always, defers to hubby's questionable decision. Some part of me thinks that on some level, maybe Obi-Wan didn't want to know (how does someone so Force-sensitive not sense another life, anyway? I don't buy it, personally).

2. Ben/Obi-Wan & Luke and the Daddy Dilemma: We all have our own point of view on Ben's 'truth, from a certain point of view'. (Although, I have to think we were better off that Luke didn't know the truth about dear old Dad - it would have robbed us of The Scene in ESB, and robbed him of his own personal growth.)


So, given these examples, the question remains: when to tell, and when to stay mum?

Here's the formula I've come up with:

If the information you're sitting on is something you would want to know if you were in the other person's shoes, TELL 'EM. You may not like the consequences; they might not either. But in the long run, you'll be able to respect yourself more. (Plus, if you don't have enough trust in the friendship to lay the truth on the line, chances are it would have deteriorated anyway, given the added burden of the truth, plus your guilt. And, I'm a firm believer that the truth comes out sooner or later . . . )

If it's something you can say you'd rather not know . . . KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

Padme, despite her predisposition to follow Anakin's misguided instincts, knew what should be done. If she werein Obi's shoes, she would have wanted to know - simply so she could have helped to diffuse a bad situation for two people she cared about.

Now Luke? That's a toughie. Young Luke would have expected - no, demanded - the truth. An older, wiser Luke might have considered keeping such heavy info to himself - especially if he though that divulging said information might happen at a time when the individual was vulnerable to temptation from the dark side (those of you who are into the EU might recall a rather large omission of the mention of Baron Fel and the Chiss contingent Thrawn left behind, and Mara & Luke stumbled across? Guess he didn't think the New Republic was ready to deal with that one . . .)

So people, what of it? To tell, or not to tell? Let me know . . . or keep it to yourself, whatever . . .