Poor See Threepio - it's not enough that he has to weather the events of the saga (and beyond) in a state of permanent confusion, but he also gained some degree of notoriety as a droid of 'unspecified sexual orientation'.

Now I've never really thought of 3PO as gay, if such a state even existed for a droid, rather, a stereotypically prissy English butler or waiter. However, the rumors persist, and even Lucasfilm acknowledges the effeminate nature of our favorite protocol droid by giving his human alter ego the name of Dannl Faytonni. Fey Tony? I guess he was OK with this!

But was Threepio on the right track? Have we been looking in the wrong places for the Galaxy's greatest lover?

Sure, Luke has that doe-eyed innocence and fly boy swagger that makes a girl's heart melt, Lando could probably charm Mon Mothma into the sack with little more than a box of After Eights and a Barry White record, and Han is, well, just Han. (Sorry squeee-ers, I'm sticking to the OT to save time). All fine fellows, but all Men through and through, Men with a capital M.

However, consider some of the greatest lovers in history.

Casanova - dipped his wick many a time, and was not afraid to embrace his feminine side if it meant getting more action. Often wore more blush than his conquests.

Don Juan - bedded a thousand, and couldn't recall any of their names (OK, that was a bad example)

Romeo - not adverse to tights... hmmm, this train of thought isn't working.

What I'm trying to get at is that not all women want the rugged type who would rather kill a rhino with his bare hands than give them a foot massage (the women, not the rhino). There's a lot to be said for guys being in tune with their future loved ones.

I'll take me as a case in point.
When my folks divorced shortly before Charles and Di got married (I'm sure this is connected), I found myself the only guy in the house and I guess my mum and sister rubbed off on me. Subsequently I can sew like a dervish and became quite the cook ( a role that has continued to this present day). One thing that didn't change was my shopping habits, but you can't fight millions of years of evolution

I found that by embracing my feminine side, I attracted quite a few girl friends (separated by a space because they were girl friends rather than girlfriends), and this meant that they trusted me enough to share the inner workings of the female psyche, which in turn meant that I had an advantage later in life, and poor Pidluk had no chance when I set my sights on her (God, I'm lucky she doesn't have the time to come to these blogs - she'd be smacking me across the back of the head right about now).

So, Threepio's open sensitivity, plus his ability to listen (and with a capacity for over six million forms of communication, finally here is a chap who might be able to understand women), makes him a bit of a player in my book. In fact, I wanted those twins thoroughly checked to see that they were indeed all organic. On the other hand, being able to fit a restraining bolt to a small child doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

Ultimately, I think I've left you with enough gristle to chew on for a Monday morning - I'm afraid my replies to any comments are going to be rather late today as I am taking some guests to the sanctuary moon (Muir Woods) today, and won't be back until tonight, when I will be expected to cook supper... doh.

If you feel this introduction to the week was rather slight (and Christ knows I do) - then feel free to add to the theory below

Cheerio, ducky.