"Ah!!" Han landed in the trash compactor, struggling to free himself from the transparent trash bag. "Garbage bags. What a really wonderful idea! What an incredible smell you've discovered! Let's get outta here! Get away from there!" He motions at Chewie, then aims his rifle.
Luke reaches out a hand. "No, wait!"
Cole slaw bounced off the door and ricocheted off the walls, causing the Rebel heroes to duck and cover. Luke scowls at Han. "Will you forget it? I already tried it! It's Ziploc sealed!"
Leia adds her thoughts. "Put that thing away! You're gonna get us all filled with cole slaw!"
Han fires right back--not with the cole slaw rifle, but with his tongue. "Absolutely, Your Worship. Look, I had every wing under control till you led us down here! The next time they dump the trash, they're gonna figure out what happened to us! And given KFC's reputation for cleanliness, it's not gonna take long!"
"Maybe," Luke said. "But didn't we see a mouse running around earlier? They can't be that clean."
"Oh. Yeah. Maybe the kid's got a point. You might've made your first ever wise decision, Your Highness."
"Don't everybody thank me at once," Leia said. "Anyway, it could be worse."
The sound of a diet cola can being opened draws their attention. Han looks around. "It's worse--diet cola drinks have the worst taste known to man, second only to cole slaw."
"Rrwaf!"
"You're right, Chewie--diet cola's third. Arby's is second."
The dreaded fizzing sound sent a chill of fear down Luke's spine. "There's something alive in here."
"That's your imagination."
Soda splashed on Luke's leg. "Something just moved back my leg."
He looked down and saw the Diet Pepsi can disappearing. "Look! Did you see that?"
"What?!" Han said, his anger trying to mask his fear, and failing.
The dietcola can crunched into Luke's leg, dragging him down beneath the sludge of mixed soft drinks. The dietcola had struck. And this time, the dietcola would not be deterred.
"Kid! Luke!"
"Luke!"
"Luke!"
Luke resurfaces, the dietcola can pouring into his face. He gurgled.
"Luke! Luke, grab hold of this!" Leia reached out with a straw.
"A straw?" Luke gurgles. "Gauh! Blast him, will ya? My gun's jammed!"
"Where?" Han said.
"Anywhere!"
B-dow! B-dow! Han fires into the dietcola, but it drags Luke down again. "Luke! Luke!"
The seconds-no, not second helpings of cole slaw, seconds of time passing by-seemed like aeons. Luke didn't resurface...
"Well...that was sudden," Han said. "I didn't think he was supposed to die. Maybe this means the wise old man gets off the hook this time, huh?"

To Be Continued in....

Smashing! Simply Smashing!