The wampa joyfully brought his meal into the cave. He hung Luke upside down, no doubt saving the smaller of his two quarries as a midnight snack. Perhaps a Luke and cheese sandwich.....very good! Mmm mmm!!
Full of glee, the wampa grabbed two tauntaun drumsticks to start what would no doubt be a memorable song cue, and would shout to the whole world that FOOD WARS IS BACK!!!! WITH FLAVOR!!! "One, two, three, hit it!!
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!
OH YEAH!!! MMM HMM!!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!
OH YEAH!! MMMMMM!

I am needy for some dark meat
And speedily you approach me
And don't even see me there
I am moving so stealthily
From desire to stay healthy
No more snow cones of despair

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
I can finally sink my teeth into
Some meat I know is real
It's a Tauntaun Happy Meal
And OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
It's a tasty dish of protein
And possibly something else
But I love how I can smell
All the pieces, pieces
Pieces of meat
All the pieces, pieces
Pieces of meat

I am chewing and digesting
No more ice cream to depress me
No more frozen smoothies here
And from now on, fat and happy
Through the winters I am napping
Maybe tauntaun steak next year

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
I can finally sink my teeth into
Some meat I know is real
It's a Tauntaun Happy Meal
And OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
It's a tasty dish of protein
And possibly something else
But I love how I can smell
All the pieces, pieces
Pieces of meat
All the pieces, pieces
Pieces of meat

As for you, Luke, I am waiting
And inside I'm debating
Whether I should eat your legs
Baskin Robbins is disgusting
Ben & Jerry's tastes like nothing
When you eat them by the kegs

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
I can finally sink my teeth into
Some meat I know is real
It's a Tauntaun Happy Meal
And OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
It's a tasty dish of protein
And possibly something else
But I love how I can smell
All the pieces, pieces
Pieces of meat
All the pieces, pieces
Pieces of meat......"


Feebly, Luke found himself dreaming about an Ashlee Simpson song he heard a long time ago, a song that his lawyers advised him he'd never been made aware of..."My...iPod....must've....broken volume button.....uh...."
He lost consciousness again, doomed to be dinner, the ultimate in takeout dining for an ice monster....
Still, he thought, as he faded in again, we'd probably make a good meal to someone who has eaten only snow cones and ice cream his entire life....
But then again...there's no way he'll eat me....I signed up for three movies. And possibly involvement in something called Wing Commander, but I've never heard of it....
He faded into unconsciousness again...