If you missed the trailer for The Clone Wars, have I got news for you--that is, unless you already heard about it, in which case it's not news at all. Go see Speed Racer, and it's quite likely you'll see the trailer there! I was pleasantly surprised to see it when I went to see Speed Racer last night. And here I was, wanting to get some snacks even though I was late for the show...shame on me.

For someone who taped the trailer when it came on TNT--but had the misfortune of taping it in black and white somehow (!)--seeing it in the theater was truly a feast for the eyes. When I watched it, I was reminded of something Jabba the Hutt said to Luke Skywalker in the ROTJ novelization: "I was killing Jedi back when it meant something." So perhaps we will get to find out exactly what he meant by that in the Clone Wars movie, huh?

It is so hard to contain the excitement of knowing that Star Wars is BACK in theaters so very soon, just when I thought we'd had our last hurrah. And just the sound of the Raiders' March gets me all excited knowing that Indiana Jones is less than 2 weeks away. My dad keeps buying cereal boxes with Indiana Jones on them. It reminds me constantly of the impending movie. And that action heroes need a good breakfast to "fuel up for ADVENTURE".

I have to admit, though, has anyone noticed how movies that really aren't for kids per se are being marketed to them? All these PG-13 superhero movies--some of which might be a bit much for a kid--are showing up on cereal boxes and all. Of course, I don't know. I mean, my parents took me to see Batman in 1989, and I was only 7 then. So I guess kids of today can handle Spider-Man or Iron Man or whatever. But I don't know if just because my parents took me to see Batman that I'd bring my kids along to just any PG-13 movie. I'm not trying to get up on a soapbox about this, and the fact is, I don't even pay attention anymore to the content of the movies I watch--to an extent, I mean. I would say that there are a lot of PG-13 movies I wouldn't feel comfortable watching because of the content.

I only bring it up because I did want to talk about Speed Racer a little bit. I knew of the TV show, but I honestly had no memories of it except the theme song, which is played on commercials from time to time. And there was a GEICO commercial using the characters awhile back. But I was in the FYE this week and I saw that they were selling the original show, so I said, why not? Maybe there's a reason they're resurrecting this franchise for a film. So I bought the first volume/season/whatever they call it. And as I watched the first episode, I realized, wow, this really is a good show, better than a lot of shows on Saturday morning for kids today, even. Which says a lot given that some 60s cartoons I've seen went along at a slow pace (but I'd say the 60s Spider-Man cartoon was also quite good despite some slow episodes in which he spent half the episode webbing from here to there). (But I like the 60s Spider-Man cartoon, so I'm not intentionally knocking it, it's a classic. I just wish Buena Vista would get off of the 90s Spider-Man cartoon and finally put out box sets of that series, that and the 90s X-Men cartoons, especially.)

Anyway, I was pleased with the show. I mean, it's not like, one of the most awesome things I've ever seen, mind you. But it's definitely a good show, and maybe even a great show, it's just I haven't seen enough of it to be able to offer an intelligent opinion.

So, after watching one episode of the old cartoon, I went to the theater. I was running a little late. I wish I'd had time to get snacks beforehand. It was a long movie, and I was starving. I wanted to just get up during the movie and go get some Goobers, but someone I work with asked me if it would be a movie suitable to take her 6-year-old to see and I didn't want to miss any of the content so I could offer an airtight review of it. The violence isn't any more than say, The Incredibles--it's tastefully done so as not to be unsettling or something. But I was surprised to find, as I kept count, that they used profanity 7 times, not including the one time where a child gives an adult the middle finger. Given that this is a film that was definitely to be marketed to kids, I was surprised to find that much language in it. Yes, I know, it was in the rating description. It's just...it wasn't really necessary, especially not for a story that is so kid-centric. I wouldn't feel comfortable with the thought that my kid might give me the middle finger because he or she saw it in the movie. (Of course, my alterego, Darth Scepter, would probably make sure that if my child did that to me, it would be "a day long remembered" as the first and last time they did something like that to me.) And since I have no kids, that's obviously an irrelevant assessment. But I'm closer to being a kid than a lot of people, so I remember that impulse control, resisting the urge to do or say whatever you just saw on the screen, is a little tough for kids under 9 or 10. So...that's why this sort of thing gives me pause.

Honestly, I don't think I'd feel entirely comfortable taking my 6-year-old (if I had a 6-year-old) to see Speed Racer because of the language. I'm sure there will be other films coming up this summer that are not only better movies as far as quality, but have less unacceptable content. Speed Racer was a neat little toy with its flashy lights and neat tricks with the car. The racing was pretty cool, I'll admit that. It grew on me, and I'd still give it a B- or a C+ overall. But I don't think I'd add it to my DVD collection, because it's just not good enough of a movie to spend that kind of dough on. (And that's part of why I even go to the theater--to see if a movie is good enough to own on DVD. If it is, I tend to keep an eye out for it after a few months.) If I'm going to spend money on Speed Racer, it'll be on the old cartoon series.

Ah, but Clone Wars--I noticed Samuel L. Jackson is doing the voice for Mace Windu. I guess his little cameo in Iron Man left him with a little space in his schedule. Although, he seems like he accepts every script that's sent to him, he's in movies so much. He's one of my favorite actors for that reason, of course. Anyway, I'm happy that they were at least able to get one of the actors from the movies to be in the Clone Wars series. I wonder if he'll do any more voice work for it.

I just love the Clone Wars voice for Darth Sidious--it makes me laugh. So I'm sure it'll be a great movie. And maybe even Entertainment Weekly will have to show some respect to Star Wars again. "You will bow down before me, EW! I swear it! No matter that it takes an eternity, YOU WILL BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! BOTH YOU, AND THEN ONE DAY, YOUR EDITORS!!!!"

Okay, enough of that. That's just one of my favorite quotes from the younger Terence Stamp, General Zod himself from Superman II. Known and more beloved to us all as Chancellor Valorum. It would've been nice to see him in a more dynamic role in the PT. Ah, well.

But if you were thinking about seeing Speed Racer, I'd recommend spending $15 or so on the old cartoon show instead--you'll probably end up paying that much to go to a movie these days anyway. As I'm sure, unlike me, most of you folks actually have someone you go to the movies with. "I don't have the luxury of friends." But it's okay. My movie time is always a time to bond with myself. Just like back in college. I was the only guy sitting in the theater for The Powerpuff Girls Movie, and I didn't care! I loved it! That was just who I was, and who I am.

I want to see another kids movie or two this summer. Kung Fu Panda looks ridiculous enough to check out. And certainly the Pixar production, Wall-E, is on my list of must-see movies. I'm going to be in the theaters almost every weekend this summer, at this rate. And I know I'm going to see something more than once. The Clone Wars, you say? Why, no, of course not! "No, no, no--stay and help you I will, heh heh! Find your friend!" Obviously I'll be seeing that at least 9 times. But The Dark Knight is definitely something I want to see more than once. I'm already certain it will be awesome enough to see maybe 3 times, even, or more if I'm really ambitious. If Indiana Jones isn't too creepy, as I expect it to be, to be honest, I wouldn't mind seeing that more than once. And I'd like to catch Iron Man again, maybe, before it leaves the theaters.

Well...I've blogged enough for one day. I want to get back into this. I haven't been doing Food Wars lately. I need to at least put out a weekly episode like I used to. But my fingers are tired from the typing I've already done, so I have to go. "I know I'm disobeying my mandate to protect you, Senator. But I have to go." I just love how Star Wars quotes come into my head like that, out of nowhere. Gosh, I love Star Wars! I have to try not to think about The Clone Wars or else I'll go crazy with anticipation!

Well, time to go. May the Force be with you!

Sincerely,
Chris2OneBee