Bloggers and bloggees alike, how are you? It's Chris2OneBee, and I'm tired, but otherwise cool. Time to review Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

First, I'd like to say that I loved the PT, and The Clone Wars (henceforth referred to as TCW, which sounds like a wrestling league) has a plot that fits right in with AOTC or ROTS, I'd say. I never knew Jabba the Hutt had a son, which raises the question of what became of Rota the Hutt after TCW--or after ROTJ, for that matter. But hopefully someday that question will be answered.

Anyway, the film is definitely not on the same level as the two volumes of Clone Wars, but then, I don't think it's really proper to compare the two, frankly. They're quite different in tone. In a way, it would be like comparing the PT with the OT--similar scenarios are there, but they're really very different movies. TCW follows one set plotline without bringing in too many relatively minor characters to do battle and stuff--it focuses tightly on Obi-Wan, Anakin, and newcomer Ahsoka. In this, I think it does quite well. The relationship between Anakin and Ahsoka is the strongest part of the movie's plot, in my opinion.

At first, I was turned off by the fact that there was no opening crawl, and especially by the fact that the equivalent of said opening crawl was spoken by the guy who I'm sure was the Narrator from The Powerpuff Girls. I'm like, dudes, this is Star Wars. At least have Yoda or Obi-Wan read the opening crawl, something. And I didn't much like the performance of the voice behind Anakin, particularly at the beginning--he doesn't really sound much like Hayden, and he doesn't really put very much feeling into what he says. Perhaps they felt Hayden was exactly like that, and that's why they cast this guy to read the part. (But I don't think Hayden stunk or anything; he wasn't perfect, but he hit the scenes that were most important to the character.) But all of that goes away when the plot gets going on Christophsis. A particularly sweet moment is Anakin and Ahsoka teaming up to beat the droideka and take out the shield generator.

Of course, the action is great--the lightsaber duels were my favorites, but really a lot of the stuff with Rex and the clones was great. There was some good humor with Rota and with the battle droids. Ah, and most importantly, there was a plausible reason for giving Anakin an apprentice--to help him learn to let go of attachment, which he would soon need to do in order to bring balance to the Force... Of course, we know he fails at first, but...he fixes it after 23 years and thousands of Jedi deaths, oh, and let's not forget the billions who died on Alderaan and elsewhere during the Galactic Civil War. But he does learn the lesson. Nice job, Yoda!

Forgive the sarcasm...sorry. Well...I just got busted down for totally frakkin' up something on the job, so...I better start rounding this out. I give TCW a B+. Good plot, good action, good start for a TV series. I've seen twice, and I shall see it thrice more if possible--maybe even thrice more after that!! In closing, I shall throw in some of my favorite quotes from the movie:

Anakin: "Don't get snippy with me!"

Anakin: "But that doesn't make any sense!" (He's voicing what we were all thinking when we heard he had an apprentice...)

Obi-Wan: "That shield is putting a real crimp in my day!"

Anakin: "You're reckless, little one. You never would have made it as Obi-Wan's Padawan. But you just might make it as mine."

Obi-Wan: "Something seems to have happened to your shield!"

Battle Droid: "Just fire right there!!"

More Battle Droids: "The red one?" "No!" "The blue one!" "No!" [Asajj Ventress slices through the console] "That'll work!"

More Battle Droids: "Count Dooku demands an update. So are you gonna tell him you lost them, or what? WAAAAAAH!!"

Rota the Hutt: "Nnngaaaah!!"

Count Dooku: [Gee, I forget what he says exactly, but it's something like...] "Your skills have improved, BOY!"

Rex: "I don't talk....to Separatist...scum!!"

As Luke once said, "there may be more of them," but I can't think of the rest. Well, gotta go. I'm tired and I just want to chill out. I could sure use an episode of Teen Girl Squad right about now. If you've never seen that on YouTube, you absolutely must check it out. It's hilarious. I only found out about it thanks to Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, on the Wii Shop Channel. But it had me in tears yesterday. It may be a little infantile for some people, but it's just so stupid...I just have to laugh about it. But...that's another story. See you folks later. I'm not feeling too funny, but one day, Food Wars will continue. Really. I've even deleted stuff on my blog to make room for more episodes! But I'm supposed to be leaving, so let me stop. May the Force be with you!

Sincerely,
Chris2OneBee