Been gone a long time...again...but hopefully getting your faces stuffed with this episode of Food Wars will ease your hunger pains...Enjoy!


"Ore-Ida frozen potatoes!"
"Oh no. Chewie, set 2-7-1."
"What are you doing? You're not actually going into a frozen potato field?"
"They'd be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they? What, with trying to keep up with Chick-Fil-A and all that, I mean...frozen potatoes would be kind of a misstep, wouldn't you think? See, you're not thinking like a businesswoman right now, Leia. You're thinking like a cashier."
"Well here's a cashier's prediction: flying into a giant field of frozen potatoes will not end well. The fact that the potatoes are frozen may, in fact, foreshadow your ultimate fate, Han."
"Hey, don't spoil the movie. Some people haven't seen it yet." Han flicked on the comm channel. "Threepio, you ready out there?"
"All set, sir! This giant fryer was a brilliant idea, if I may so, Team Captain Solo!"
"I know. You added the ketchup, right?"
"Of course, sir! I even found some of that green ketchup they used to make a few years ago!"
"What?" Han again rolled the Chicken & Fries past a giant frozen potato, and Threepio hacked off a huge chunk and put it in the fryer. "Threepio, that ketchup is rancid! Throw it out, right now!"
"But sir-"
"All I asked was that you cook the ketchup flavor right into the potatoes, and you can't even do that. Take the whole ham thing down, right now. When this is over, we're going to have a performance improvement meeting."
"No! Not a PI-MEET! Please!"
"You brought it on yourself, Goldenrod."
The Chicken & Fries was all but untouchable as it soared past the Ore-Ida potatoes. Supposedly, the Ore-Ida field was created by a smuggling ring that had to dump their huge load of tater tots due to KFC Imperial pursuit. Ore-Ida remained notoriously silent about the existence of this massive waste of food, but the evidence spoke for itself.
Chicken Pot PIE fighters were knocked off course by the tater tots, as if plucked away by the finger of a giant, unsupervised toddler playing with his food. One PIE fighter was struck bread-on by a tater and detonated instantly, its broth dissipating into the vacuum of space.
"We're going to get tater-ized if we stay out here much longer."
"I can't argue with that. The prospect of staying out here doesn't look too a-peel-ing to me, either. Eh? Eh?"
Leia took a bite out of Chewie. "Mmm. You wearing cinnamon today?"
"RRRAAARWOO!"
"Sorry."
Han glanced over. "Hey! Leave him alone! This Cookiee does NOT come with the meal!"
"RWOO!"
"I'm going in closer to one of the big ones."
"Closer?" Leia said.
"NEEEH NEEEH!!!"
The Chicken & Fries found an opening in the tater tot-it was one of those misshapen tots, and there are always a few of those in every package-and soared through it. The PIE fighters clumped together and literally broke bread with each other, breaking into pea-ces while passing through the gap.
"Yeah. That looks pretty good."
"What looks pretty good?"
"Well, you do, for one thing. But kind remarks aside, I'm gonna park this franchise over there until we can fix our hypertaste motivator. There's your synopsis of the next section of the plot, sweetheart."
"Good enough." Leia grabbed a newspaper and flapped it open.
"Hey! This is a paperless society! Where'd you get that?"
"Does it matter? I'm assuming the male role here, so I'll sit back and do nothing, while you fix up the house. How's that?"
"Sounds wonderful," Han said as sardonically as possible.
The Chicken & Fries disappeared down a long hole leading deeper into the tater tot.