This is utterly insane, but here's my crack at a sequel to my previous little joke, about a certain fast food war going on, and a certain great Jedi who seeks chicken done right for the galaxy...I took some liberties with the story, so maybe it won't make any sense. But hopefully it's funny to you, at least as funny as the first one...

Believe me, I've definitely got a really funny idea for the Mustafar scene. Oooh boy. I'm laughing just thinking about it! But I wouldn't do that unless I got good reviews on this one. So...we'll see...

***Ah, and thanks to solo smelly for a line that I added in here, about the Separatists. Sorry I didn't put this note in when I first wrote this blog, but it's here now. Thanks, solo smelly! You're the best!




"Are you alright? I heard there was an attack on the French Fry Temple, you can smell the burnt fries from here!"
"I'm fine, I'm fine. I came to see if you and the baby ate anything."
"What's happening?"
"The French Fry Chains have tried to overthrow the Republic."
"I can't believe that! KFC tastes so much better! I mean, they've got potato wedges--"
"Don't interrupt!"
"...Sorry."
"Anyway, I saw Master Windu knock a McBig sandwich out of the Chancellor's hand myself."
"Oh, Anakin...what are you going to do?"
"I will not betray KFC. My loyalties lie with Original Recipe, and Spicy, and Barbecue--you know those little Boneless Honey BBQ Wings? I just love to get a 20 piece box of those for only $10.99!"
"What about Obi-Wan? What's he going to eat?"
"I don't know. We can only hope that he's remained loyal to doing chicken right. Many french fries have been killed...I've seen the ketchup everywhere. The clones are still cleaning it up."
"Anakin, I'm afraid. Apart from being really hungry right now."
"Have faith, my love. Every wing will soon be done right." Anakin scowls for a moment. "Not like those 'Really Mighty Wings'--nothing 'mighty' about them at all. That kind of so-called food wouldn't even fill up Yoda--"
"Anakin, stick to the script."
"I know, I know. Just ad-libbing there for a moment. The Chancellor has given me a very important mission. The Separatists have gathered at McDonalds. I'm going there to end this war of good food served fast--something only we, at KFC, who do chicken right, have the right to claim. Wait for me until I return. Wings will be different, I promise." He kisses her. "Please. Wait for me."
Padme frowns. "Anakin, I taste Original Recipe on your breath. Have you eaten already?"
Anakin turns away. "...No. I kind of...burped while we kissed, and so you're just tasting what I had for lunch, many hours ago."
R2-D2 reaches into the Jedi starfighter to grab a drumstick. He knocks into an almost empty soda cup. C-3PO sneaks a look back at Padme and Anakin. "Hush! Not so loud! And be careful, Artoo! If you drop that drumstick, falling from this height, it could kill someone! Oh, dear!"
Padme stares at Anakin, who flicks his hand, sending the bucket of KFC flying out of his cockpit. He steps in front so Padme can't see it fall. I'll pick it up on my way down...hopefully before the hungry drivers below snatch the delectable, mouth-watering wings, thighs, breasts, and drumsticks out of the air and devour them. If only I'd bought side orders... He totally spaces out, just thinking about it.
"Anakin, are you hiding something from me?" Padme asks.
"Why would I hide something so succulent, with 12 different herbs and spices, a secret recipe that even the Jedi haven't been able to unravel, from the one I love most? Have faith, Padme. I promise you, when the galaxy is at peace, we will both enjoy KFC. As will everyone." He boards the ship. "Wait for me."
C-3PO speaks to Artoo. "Well, he has had a lot of chicken breast, Artoo. You should expect it would make him a little gassy."
Artoo bleeps something to the effect of "Not like this...that smell can come through this socket, you know!"
Threepio waves to him. "Take air freshener, my little friend."
The Jedi Starfighter flies away. Threepio looks at Padme. "Oh my lady, is there anything I can do?"
"No thank you, Threepio," Padme says. "Unless maybe KFC delivers, and you can call them for me."
"Actually, I am not sure if KFC delivers. But I do know they deliver when it comes to flavor!"

Meanwhile, on Tantive IV...
"How many French Fries have managed to survive?"
"Not eaten one, have we."
"I saw thousands of troops attack the French Fry Temple. That's why I went looking for Yoda. I knew he would have potato wedges from KFC."
"Has there been any contact from the Temple?"
"Received a coded treat menu, we have."
"It requests all French Fries to return to the Temple, says the war is over."
"Well then we must go back. If there are any stragglers, perhaps worse yet, those delicious potato wedges from KFC that are included in every combo meal, like the KFC Snacker Combo for $2.99, they could fall into the trap and be grilled!"
"Then eaten...as french fries! A terrible fate that would be. Suggest dismantling the coded menu, do you?"
"Yes, Master, McDonalds has too much beef and steak."
"I agree. And a little more chicken, done right, might fill our faces."




I don't think it was that great, but please tell me it was worth at least two laughs. I mean...I wrote it, and I laughed more than once....I hope it was decent. But like I said, I'm not a comedy writer, so...I'm just writing to be writing. Hopefully this was as fun for you to read as it was for me to write. I have to admit, writing this while hungry may have helped a lot...