If you were wondering what happened after the climactic food fight at McDonalds' on Mustafar...here goes my attempt at describing it...


Dairy Queen, Polis Massa asteroid belt

Bail Organa sees Padme finish the McGriddle sandwich. "Please tell me that's your first one!"
"Second, actually," Padme says. "I feel a little--"
"Oh, GOSH! Take her to the Medical Center, QUICKLY!!"

The medical droid shakes its head. "Medically, she was perfectly healthy. But she just ate two McGriddle sandwiches in a row. With that much saturated fat and cholesterol....it's only a matter of time."
Obi-Wan overplays his surprise. "She's dying? Well...who would be irresponsible enough to give two McGriddle sandwiches to a pregnant woman?"
"I'm sure you have no idea," the droid says. "Anyway, we need to operate quickly if we are to save the babies. That heart attack won't hold off for more than an hour, two hours, tops. Just long enough for the customer to get off McDonalds' property--standard procedure."
"How do you know so much about McDonalds?"
"Their customers come through here all the time. In their dying moments, I've found they confide in me a great deal..."
Bail Organa looks at Obi-Wan and Yoda. "Did anyone else notice he just said babies? As in plural?"
Yoda looks up at Bail. "A parody, this scene is. If notice too much we did, too real, it would be. Dangerous and disturbing, a lawsuit could be..."
"Oh, well...no babies here. Just...carry on." Bail looks at Obi-Wan. "So...guess you should've got her the Big Breakfast, huh?"
"You know, I'm not explaining this to Luke. I'm not."


McDonalds, Mustafar

"GRUUUUUH...." Anakin chews on the burnt remains of the chicken he could find, the chicken he failed to cook properly. There is no hope left...surely this is a fate worse than death...Only a hint of the many herbs and spices that once made KFC finger lickin' good can be tasted!!!
The Emperor's shuttle can be seen flying past overhead...
The clone trooper first on the scene sees Anakin. "Your Majesty, this way!"
The Emperor rushes forward, holding a 2-piece dinner with a side order. "There he is! He is still alive, despite being surrounded by McDonalds' food....Get a bucket of Extra Tasty Crispy, immediately!"
"Yes, sir! Right away, sir!"
The clones rush away to get the only chicken done right in the galaxy. The only chicken that now exists in the galaxy, as far as they are concerned.
The Emperor makes his way down to Anakin, and gently takes the burnt chicken away from him. He opens the box and hands him a fresh, warm piece of Original Recipe. "Eat, Lord Vader....Eat...."
But even this chicken is barely tasty...The burnt chicken has nearly destroyed Vader's taste buds....the tragic cost of wanting chicken done right at an affordable price everywhere....

KFC Headquarters, Coruscant

Vader's limp form is placed on the table. He is force-fed KFC Original Recipe, then Spicy, then Extra Tasty Crispy, then Honey BBQ Wings, then a KFC Snacker sandwich. The very smell is excruciating. He knocks the box away, sending finger-lickin' chicken flying everywhere.
"GGUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! GUUAAAAAA--GUAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Dairy Queen, Polis Massa

Having given birth to Luke and Leia, Padme feels the signature chest pains and numbing of the right side....warning signs that her doom is imminent...
"Obi-Wan...there is good food in him....I know, I know....there is...a good meal....."
Padme's eyes close for the last time....

KFC Headquarters, Coruscant

The chicken wing with a taste that is unbeatable is placed inside the breath mask...and sealed over Vader's face....
The table rises....Vader feebly attempts to eat the chicken...It's done right, yet...I can barely taste anything...
The Emperor listens for chewing sounds. "Lord Vader...can you taste it?"
"Yes, Master." His mouth is full as he speaks. "Where is Padme? Did she taste...my...chicken done right?"
"It seems in your anger, you filled her...with two McGriddle sandwiches."
"I...couldn't have!" Struggling against the restraints in despair, even Vader, so devoted to the great taste that is and always will be KFC, knows the consequences of consuming not one but two McGriddle sandwiches in a row. "She was ALIVE! SHE WANTED THE CHICKEN, DONE RIGHT!! I FELT IT!!!"
He breaks free of the restraints, pieces of chicken skin falling out of the breath mask. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Dairy Queen, Naboo
"Hidden, safe, the children must be kept," Yoda says. A man in a KFC uniform hands him a page from the script, pointing to Yoda's line fiercely and gesturing. "Sorry, I am? Paid enough, I am NOT for this role! Insulting, it is!! Hmph!"
Obi-Wan looks at the man in the KFC uniform. "Leave him alone. Please. He's had a small enough role in this as it is."
The man in the KFC uniform throws up his hands and walks away angrily. "Fine, screw it up! What do I care?"
Yoda sighs. "Read it, I will. ... Hidden, tasty, the chicken must be kept."
Obi-Wan nods. "We must keep it somewhere where the Sith will not smell it."
Bail Organa chimes in. "My wife and I have a very large freezer. We've always talked of hosting a large barbecue--possibly using KFC's recipe to do our chicken right--but nonetheless, allowing for enjoyment of other foods, as well. The chicken will be loved with us."
"And what of the side orders?"
"To Tatooine, to an empty storefront, send them."
"I will take the side orders and watch over them. While eating them every so often to stay alive."
"Until the chicken is right, disappear, we will." Obi-Wan and Bail get up to leave. "Master Kenobi, wait a moment....In your solitude on Tatooine, culinary training, I have for you."
"...Training?"
"An old friend has learned the path to food immortality, one who has returned from the Netherworld of the Food, your old master chef."
"Qui-Gon? Or is it the Iron Chef? Could be...you never know."
"How to cook food with him, I will teach you."

Bail Organa, standing in the hallway, talks to Captain Antilles. "I'm placing these droids in your care. Feed them well, clean them up afterwards, and have the protocol droid prepare my...wipes."
"What?" Threepio says.
Artoo beeps and whistles. "Now you'll see what I was talking about! Need to keep him on a non-chicken diet, it'll be easier!"
"Oh, no...."

Padme Amidala's funeral is attended by everyone who can make it. Emperor Palpatine issues a statement claiming that the French Fries killed her, which is accepted with skepticism by many of Naboo's citizenry. The Emperor vows to pursue McDonalds "through every legal means, to see justice done for this tragic loss, the result of an extreme lack of regard for quality food standards."

Elsewhere, a young KFC Manager named Tarkin watches along with Vader and the Emperor as the construction of the largest KFC franchise has begun--an armored fast food chain with enough chicken to explode the stomach of an entire planet's population with a single order...

...And on the planet that is very far from the bright center of the universe, a young Jedi carries an infant in one arm, and a bucket of Extra Tasty Crispy in the other. He watches the sunset, and takes a healthy bite of chicken done right...."Wait! This is COLE SLAW!!! Oh, why did I ask for the side orders?"

THE END!!



Thanks....hope you like this one, too....

Chris2-1B