A long time ago, in a fast food industry far, far away...


FOOD
WARS

It is a time of fierce fast food competition.
Rebel franchises, biting from a hidden
base, have just tasted their first victory
against the evil KFC Empire.

During the battle, Dairy Queen spies
managed to steal secret recipes for the
KFC ( pronounced 'Kefs') STAR, an
armored fast food franchise with enough
chicken to explode the stomachs of an
entire planet.

Pursued by KFC's sinister management,
Princess Leia's starship races home,
custodian of the secret recipe--of 12 herbs
and spices--that could feed her people
and restore fast food freedom to the galaxy....



The Tantive IV races through space, hotly pursued by the Five-Star Destroyer.
[Rebel fanfare]
Rebel Dairy Queen employees race towards the exit hatch. "So Obi-Wan's got Grievous cornered, right? And Grievous sees he's got a Hardee's hamburger, so he says, 'Hardee's or not, you must realize, YOU AREN'T FOOOOOD!!' And then Obi-Wan looks at his cup and says, 'Oh, I don't drink soda--not Coke, at least!' And he throws the Coke at Grievous, and the corrosive acids in the soda eat through Grievous' armor! Sent him flying, smack into the wall! It was unreal! It was on the HoloNet last night! It was awesome!"
"You know, that's just stupid. You know that, right? We're being chased by a Five-Star Destroyer, capable of beating restaurants four times better than a Dairy Queen, and that's all you can think of? 'Hardee's or not'? What the heck?!"
The Tantive IV gets sucked into the Five-Star Destroyer.
Brown fluid starts oozing out of the exit hatch. "Oh, no! They've got beans! I thought we destroyed their side orders!!"


TO BE CONTINUED...