"How did we get into this mesh? I really don't know how."
R2-D2 removes the mesh caps normally given to employees with hair, so that they don't, you know, leave DNA and dandruff on your food.
"What a desolate place, this is...the only food I see....is an Arby's."
"Whiiistle."
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Beep-beeooo!"
"Well, that way has a Hard Rock Cafe, but this way's much easier on the wallet. Surely they must have a KFC somewhere....for some reason, I don't remember why I love KFC so much!"
"Whistle, beep, boop."
"Oh, yes. You're right, Artoo--it's because they do chicken right. I do believe they have a new Fish Snacker sandwich as well!"
"BEEEep!"
"Yes, I heard about the 10-piece drumstick bucket for only $7.99! And what about your secret recipe?"
"Whistle, beep, gwweoo!"
"I've just about had enough of food. Go that way. You'll be starving within a day on that ice cream! And don't let me catch you following me, begging for a turkey melt, because you won't get it! I don't think Arby's sells that kind of thing. But then...I've only eaten there once."
Artoo watches him leave. "GWEeeeoo!"
"No more adventures! I'm not going to that cafe!"
"Suit yourself, pal...I mean, uh...oooh, ooo ooo..." Artoo trundles along.

Somewhere in the desert of Tatooine....

C-3PO wanders around. "That Arby's sandwich was so dry! That ice-cream loving little....he tricked me into going to Arby's, but Hard Rock Cafe's no better."
He sees a glint of light from a transport, with a familiar green logo. "What's that? A Starbucks! I'm saved! OVER HEEEEERE! HEY!! HEEEEY!! I HAVE ICE CREAM, PLEASE HEEELP, BEFORE IT MELTS!"

Somewhere beyond the Prune Sea....

R2-D2 rolls along, carrying his doggy bag from Hard Rock Cafe. He hoped there was a fridge nearby...the food would spoil otherwise. The french fries always deteriorate the moment you leave the restaurant. A biodegradable food if ever there was one...
"Hooogooonnaaa!!" A burst of frapuccino blasts R2-D2 out of nowhere.
"WWWWOOOOOOWW!!!...Aaaaah..." [Thunk!] R2-D2 passes out.
"Un tea D!" The tiny Starbucks employees pick up R2-D2.
"We don't drink tea! Only coffee! Who said 'un tea D'?"
They walk along, hoisting the droid. "Well...I wanted some decaffeinated tea, so...I asked for un tea D. Get it? Eh? Eh?"
"Oh yeah, how 'bout an apple cider?"
"Okay.."
An apple hits him aside the head. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha! See?" the tall one jokes. "An apple 'side 'er head! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
The giant straw comes out of the rolling frapuccino machine. The Starbucks manager sucks the straw from atop the machine, and R2-D2 is sucked inside. He'll make a good coffee mate...


Meanwhile, the KFC Team members scour the dessert....or is it desert?

"Ice cream was in the 'frozen escape' pod. The cones go off in this direction."
"Look, sir! This one's only half eaten! Can I eat it?"
"Does it have KFC written on it?"
"Well...no..."
"THEN NO!!!"


Inside the giant mobile Starbucks...

"Do you think they'll melt us down into coffee?"
"Beep-tweet!"
"Out! Both of you!" The Starbucks manager threatens them with hot coffee.
"Don't spill! Don't spill!" Threepio says. "Will this never end?"
"Oooo.."
"Too much caffeine, indeed..."
The droids are led out onto the moisture farm, where they are put up for sale. Along with a few blues CDs and some weird looking cookies, in typical Starbucks fashion.

Owen Lars and Luke Skywalker head out to take a look. "Luke! Luuuke!" His aunt Beru calls. "Tell uncle if he gets a coffee droid, be sure it makes coffee! Remember what happened last time!"
"Doesn't look like we have much of a choice, with Starbucks' being so expensive, but I'll remind him!"


And thus...the secret recipe, Artoo knows, may yet be heading to the right hands...


TO BE CONTINUED...