Owen Lars looks at the various blues CDs and cookies being offered. "No, not that one. Why do you sell us this stuff, anyway? You know we've got an iPod! Oh, wait...no, we don't. (Sigh) I'll get that new Norah Clones CD, then..."
He stops in front of C-3PO. "You, I suppose you're programmed for Coffee Mate and Maxwell House!"
"Maxwell House? Sir, that's my primary function. I am well versed in all the coffees."
"I have no need for a coffee-pouring droid."
"Of course not, sir, not in an environment such as this. That is why I have been programmed-"
"What I really need is a droid who understands the binary language of coffeemakers."
"Sir, my first job was programming binary coffeelifters, very similar to your coffeemakers in most respects."
"Can you drink coffee?"
"Of course, I can. It's like a second liquid to drink! I'm as fluid with coffee as-"
"Alright, shut up. I'll take this one."
"Hey, who are you telling to shut up, sir? You've got nothing but a bit part on this gig! I'm the show-stopper here! Look at me-I'm made of gold! Would you care to step outside, sir?"
Owen turns around. "What?"
"I said, would you care to step outside, sir?"
"We're already outside." Owen steps up to Threepio. "So what do you want to do about it?" He pushes the droid with three fingers. "Huh? Huh?"
Luke steps in between. "Alright, that's enough, you two. I take it he likes you."
Owen looks at Luke. "Luke, take these two over to the garage. I want 'em making coffee before midnight."
"But I was going into Sonic to pick up some power burgers!"
"You can waste money with your friends after the coffee's perked. Now go on, get to it."
"Alright, come on. And the red one."
The red R2 droid burbles, and the coffee begins to percolate.
"Well come on, red, let's go!"
Artoo-Detoo's electronic eye blinks just a little...just a concentrated electromagnetic pulse, aimed right at that red little fella...
Suddenly, coffee beans fly out of the red droid, and coffee spills everywhere. Luke sees it, and just for a moment, he squints at Artoo-Detoo. Did he just...? ...Nah... "Uncle Owen?"
"Yeah?"
"This R2 unit has a bad coffeemaker, look!"
Owen turns to the Starbucks employee. "What're you tryin' to push on us?"
"What?" the employee says, giving a gesture of innocence.
His manager steps up beside him. "Yeah, what are you trying to push on him? I'll bet it makes great tea!"
"That's it, I'm out of here." The Jawa takes off the green apron and throws it on the ground, then walks away. "I'm going back to technical school."
"Yeah, but how are you going to pay for it?" The manager shouts. "You need me, 'un tea D'! You need meeee!"
The now unemployed Jawa gives a rather rude gesture and walks off into the desert.
"I'm terribly sorry, sir," the manager says to Owen. "That's the third employee this week."
"Whatever. Just give me another coffeemaker."

"Excuse me, sir," Threepio says to Luke, "that Artoo unit is quite a bargain."
"Uncle Owen?"
"Yeah?"
"What about that one?"
"What about that blue one? We'll take that one, if he makes good coffee."
The smell of coffee emanates from Artoo as he pours a full cup inside his coffeemaker, and his front compartment opens; a coffee cup is waiting. 'Free sample' is written on the cup. Owen drinks a little from the cup. "Hmm...not bad. Pretty good, actually. I'll take him!"
Artoo extends his third leg and rolls towards Threepio. Threepio is surprised. "So that's why you took out your freezer!"
"Beeep, whiiistle!"
"You were going to join a Krispy Kreme? Guh! I doubt it! Why I should stick my neck out for you after what happened to my ice cream is quite beyond my capacity!"