Meanwhile, aboard the KFC Star...

Princess Leia is held prisoner back behind the counter somewhere; you know how if you look closely enough behind the counter, you see those boxes stacked high, but you really don't want to know what's in them, because it might be the very stuff you're eating? I actually saw one marked "African Dogs" once...scary. Wasn't at a KFC, thankfully...Well, Leia is held prisoner behind even those disturbing little items...

Darth Vader, along with two KFC Team members, enters those prisonlike quarters. Trailing him is an interrogator droid, loaded to the brim with cole slaw. "And now, Your Highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden sherbet base."
Leia shifts back into the corner. "Wait...this scene is too early! Can't we wait awhile?"
"Don't try to escape the cole slaw! Surrender to it! It's an acquired taste!" Vader grabs a messy handful of it, raises his mask, and bites into it. He starts gagging. "Ah! AAAH! ACK!! Where did they get this stuff? Bring in a fresh batch!"
The KFC Team members hurry to comply. Vader points at Leia, cole slaw dripping from his black glove. "You were fortunate it tasted terrible this time, too terrible even for you! But you will reveal the location of that Dairy Queen!"
"But this scene doesn't belong!" Leia exclaims.
"It does now. If Obi-Wan gets more screen time, so do I! I refused to sign the contract otherwise! Now," Vader pulls out a Buffalo Snacker, "you do not want me to smash this Snacker into your face. The flavor alone would destroy you. This small sandwich is very, very spicy! I've tasted it, trust me. Only a master of the dark meat could withstand it."
The door closes, leaving Leia to an uncertain fate, one blasted with flavor, no doubt...

Returning to the Prune Sea, in a non-linear plot...

Obi-Wan and Luke survey what's left of the mobile Starbucks. "It looks like the Sandwich People did this, alright. Look, there's pickles, chips, Cheetos bags, it's just...I've never heard of them hitting anything this big before. I mean, Starbucks is a pretty powerful company to take on!"
"They didn't. But we are meant to think they did. These Cheetos bags are side-by-side. Sandwich People always stack them single file on shelves off to the side, to hide their numbers."
"These are the same Starbucks employees who sold us Artoo and Threepio. And this Norah Clones CD."
Obi-Wan stared at Luke suddenly, like he'd said something so horribly offensive that Obi-Wan couldn't even speak for awhile. "Who?"
Luke wondered what was wrong. "Norah Clones. Why?"
Obi-Wan just stared at him a few seconds longer. "Luke...get an iPod! Even I have one! I downloaded that album weeks ago!" He shook his head. "And these...barbecue sauces, too accurate for Sandwich People. The sauce on what's left of this sandwich would be dripping everywhere if they'd made it. Only KFC Team members are so precise."
"But why would KFC Team members want to slaughter a Starbucks with flavor?"
"Perhaps they didn't like the coffee." Obi-Wan looked over at the droids. "Oh, wait...the droids. Uh, yeah...ha ha, I knew that. It was so obvious!"
Luke stared at Obi-Wan this time. "...Retarded...Anyway, if they traced the robots here, they may have learned who they sold them to, and that would lead them back...home!!"
Luke takes off running. Obi-Wan shouts after him. "Wait, Luke! It's too dangerous! Their chicken done right can be deadly!"
Luke ignores him, hops into the landspeeder, and races home.

Arriving at the Lars' Homestead, he sees the smoke rising. Shocked, he gets out of the speeder. "Uncle Owen? Aunt Beru? Uncle Owen?"
He looks closely...and sees it.
The horror...
Two charred carcasses, both with half a Buffalo Snacker sandwich still lodged inside their mouths.
Luke falls to his knees in despair..."This...this was chicken done wrong!! It had to be!!"

Back on the KFC Star...

Vader leaves the prison cell and comes back in, as if to repeat the scene. "And now, Your Highness--"
"We already DID THAT!!" Leia says, still chewing the Buffalo Snacker. "And this Snacker ain't so scary. I've had spicier."
"What?"
Again the prison door closes.
Apparently Leia enjoys KFC, Vader thought. This may be harder than I expected...

In the Prune Sea...

A dejected Luke returns to the site of the Starbucks massacre. C-3PO and R2-D2 have already started a funeral pyre for the employees.
Obi-Wan watches Luke sorrowfully. Hmm...is 'sorrowfully' a word? "There was nothing you could have done, Luke, had you been there. You'd have been killed by the flavor, too. And the droids would now be in the greasy, chicken-laden hands of the KFC Empire."
Luke looks at Obi-Wan. "I want to come with you to Dairy Queen. There's not even any beer for me here now. Owen's fridge got burned up, too. I want to learn the ways of the Food and become a French Fry like my father."
Obi-Wan nods and puts a reassuring hand on Luke's shoulder. Destiny had just served up a fresh life for the young French Fry-in-training...