"Yes?"
"Our scout buckets, full of chicken done right, have reached Dairy Queen on Dantooine. They found the remains of an ice cream franchise, but they estimate it has been deserted-or desserted, depending on how much you like puns-for some time. They are now conducting an extensive search of the surrounding area."
Tarkin was incredulous. "She lied. She lied to us! Us, the perveyors of poultry! The commanders of chicken! The governors of gout! She lied to us!"
Vader nodded. "While I think you're overreacting-and overacting, I might add--I told you she would never consciously betray the Fast Food Rebellion. At this point, I'm going to gesture, and I'm not quite sure why I do it; it's kind of out of place, but hopefully no one will notice." After a few seconds, Vader gestures for no apparent reason, as if some thought is on the tip of his flavor-singed tongue.
"While you're doing that, would you mind terminating the Princess, immediately? And use something other than a Buffalo Snacker this time. Just because you know she's going to gain some weight later in life doesn't mean you should show mercy now."
"That's a rather harsh statement, Manager Tarkin. I happen to think she's still a very beautiful woman. And I doubt you want a Boneless Variety Bucket smashed down your throat, so I suggest you not make fat jokes about my daught-oh, wait, I'm not supposed to know that yet..."
"Know what?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all." Vader turns towards the camera. "Well? Next scene! It's bad enough I'm not in the next scene; I have to get lines that nearly mess up continuity!"

The Millennium Chicken & Fries was ready to emerge from hypertaste. Manager Solo reached for the controls. "So I told him, look, good against a stove is one thing. Good against Honey Barbecue Wings? It's something else."
Chewbacca glanced at him. "Rwwwoo!"
"Yeah, I know I forgot my line in that scene. That's why I'm saying it now! Okay, Chewie, here we go, stand by. Cut in the sublight beverage."
Han held out his cup as the machine poured semi-sweet Minute Maid light lemonade. "This'll definitely end hypertaste, that's for sure." He drank it down, then grabbed the seat as he was shaken by as yet unidentified forces. "What the-"
"Rwaar!"
"Ah, we've come out of hypertaste into a meatier flavor, some kind of fast food collision! It's not on any of the charts! Our position's correct, but there's no Dairy Queen-or Alderaan."
Luke hurried in. "Well, what do you mean? Where is it? Did they change locations?"
"That's what I'm tryin' to tell ya, kid. It ain't there. It's been totally blown away by flavor."
"What? How?"
"Destroyed," Obi-Wan said, "by the KFC Empire, and its brutal delivery of herbs and spices."
Han looked back at Obi-Wan. "The entire franchise couldn't destroy a whole planet with flavor. It'd take a thousand buckets with more finger-lickin' flavor than I've-" The oven chimed. "There's another fish and chips platter comin' in. Order #Sixty-si-"
"Don't say it!" Obi-Wan said. "There have been too many jokes about that as it is. Didn't you ever read 'Revenge of the Clone Menace'?"
"Don't get excited!"
"Wrong movie for that line, Solo!"
"Let's get on with this, shall we? There's also another franchise coming in."
"Maybe they know what happened," Luke said.
"It's a KFC Express," Obi-Wan said.
RAAAAAAA!! The biscuit with two potato wedges roared past just above them. "It followed us!"
"No-it's a KFC Express. It's a short-range franchise. Food's still okay, I guess."
"There aren't any KFC trucks around here. Where did it come from?"
"It sure is leaving in a big hurry. If they try to take our order, we're in big trouble."
"Not if I can help it. Chewie-jam its speaker transmissions."
"It'd be as well to let it go. Besides, I'm out of change."
"Not for long. You're gonna have to pay for that platter you had, and you'll get some change then."
RAAAAAAA! What good would it be without sound effects, right?
"A franchise that size couldn't get meat into people's faces on its own."
"It must've gotten lost, been part of a Bob's Big Boy or something."
"Well he ain't gonna be around long enough to tell anybody about us. Oh, gee...maybe that'd hurt advertising. Maybe we should let him go, huh?"
"Look at him, he's heading for that small biscuit."
"I think I can get him before he gets there. He's almost in range. Nobody'll want to eat a biscuit and wedges doused in cocktail sauce."
Obi-Wan looks up, realization dawning on him like a heat lamp that keeps french fries warm. "That's no biscuit. It's a franchise."
"It's too big to be a franchise," Han says.
The biscuit draws closer.
"I have a very bad mealing about this..."
"Turn the fish & chips around."
Han looked at Obi-Wan's plate. "Turn it around yourself! Stop bein' lazy!"
Obi-Wan looked down at the script again. "Oh. I skipped a word. Sorry. Turn the fish & chips franchise around." He took a bite out of the fileted phenomenon that was Millennium Chicken & Fries' hallmark. "And if I asked you to turn the fish & chips around, you should do it, if you're a good manager."
"I'll be a much better one after the 2,015 is in my account. But I think you're right. Full reverse. Chewie, lock in the auxiliary flour. Chewie, lock in the auxiliary flour!"
The KFC Star grew larger. "Why are we still moving towards it?!"
"We're caught in the drive-thru! They're pullin' us in! And you know how it is when somebody gets in line behind you!"
"But there's nobody behind us! And even if there were, space is three-dimensional!"
"That's what's creepy about it! The drive-thru must have a tractor beam!"
"Well, why didn't you say that?"
"Because I don't like being sued! It's too similar to what happened in some other...unknown galaxy!"
"There's got to be something you can do!"
"There's nothing I can do about it, kid. I'm full flour. I'm gonna have to shut down. They're not gonna get meat without a bite!"
Obi-Wan leaned in. "You can't win, even with food this good. But there are alternatives to biting."
Luke gestured like a symphony conductor as the Millennium Fish & Chips was lured into the KFC Star. "DUN-DUN-DUN-NU-NU-NU-NU! DUN-DUN-DUN-NU-NU-NU-NU! NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA NA-NA NA-NA-NA NAAAAAAAAAAAA NAA NAA NAA NAAAA!! DUN-DUN-DUN-NU-NU-NU-NU! DUN-DUN-DUN-NU-NU-NU-NU! NA-NA-NA NA-NA NA-NA-NA NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
He looked around. "Maybe we should hide, guys. Guys?"
The cockpit was empty. "Guys?"

"Clear Drive Thru 321. We are opening the cashier's field. May I take your order?"