Let's not fool ourselves: Sometimes the EU sucks. I've covered this before, but there's still so much to mock...

Courtship of Princess Leia
The whole book. Here's a (lethally snarky) summary of the book I wrote a while back:

Race of extremely beautiful women want Leia to marry their prince, Fabio, and become their Queen. Leia considers it. Han, driven to an out of character experience by Fabio (Isolder) making the moves on his woman, drugs and kidnaps Leia and they end up crash-landing on a planet of Force witches. Luke, having fended off the romantic advances of Fabio's mother, goes after them, communes with wild animals, finds a crashed Jedi spaceship, and finally is captured by the Force witch princess Teneniel Djo, who, to paraphrase a friend of mine, traps him between her muscular thighs and claims him as her mate. After some rancor riding and yuffa wrangling, there's a muddled battle involving good witches, bad witches, and more bumbling Imperials. The good guys win, Leia chooses Han, Fabio chooses Teneniel Djo, and Luke, fated to be the Anthony Michael Hall of the intergalactic Breakfast Club, gets a crashed spaceship full of Jedi stuff. Han and Leia get married on the very last page, breaking the heart of hardcore shippers everywhere with the lack of a big fluffy wedding.

It's almost - almost - as bad as KJA. The only reason it escapes is that it's pretty easy to ignore if you just skip straight from Truce at Bakura to Tatooine Ghost.

Here's a few more:

The Gun of Command
Okay, this is how Han kidnaps Leia in Courtship, but it's so awful that it deserves it's own bit. This is wrong for so many reasons, the chief one being we're supposed to believe that HAN FRIGGING SOLO needs an obedience gun to get Leia to go somewhere with him. There are other, far more disturbing implications that can be taken from such a object, but this is a family website.

The mating habits of Hutts
Did we really need to know? A.C. Crispin thought so. Sadly, it's one of the more interesting points of her Bria-ridden and mostly useless Han trilogy.

Obvious Indiana Jones references
Crispin is guilty of this one, too - teenage ruffian Han insisting some trinket he's stolen should only be sold to a museum. Troy Denning did it in The Joiner King. This isn't so much eye-sporking as annoying. Yes, Harrison Ford plays both Han and Indiana Jones. WE GOT THAT, thanks. At least be less obvious than just pulling dialogue, okay?

Overthrawn
In the comments of my first Sporking post, people wondered where the Zahn was. I actually like Zahn, but there is one thing that really annoys me... Having characters talk about how great Thrawn was in his later books. Yeah, he was a neat villian. But enough already.

"I just want to be worthy of the Jedi Master that I love."
KJA strikes again! This tragically sappy line of dialogue from Callista in Darksaber pretty much does her in as a character and cemented many shippers firmly with Mara in the Luke Shipping Wars of the 90's.

That's it - I can't really come up with many more on my own, and I'm certainly not rereading some of this stuff. However, the future is always in motion...