I have to wonder, folks: is there a part of me that's given over to the Dark Side?

I was a Black Sabbath and general old-school heavy metal fan for almost 40 years. I loved Captain Black (Capt. Scarlet & the Mysterons), the Klingons, the Terran Empire, Darth Vader, all the general bad guys in any mythos. I had a brief turn with the dark occult in my mid-twenties. My mother's side of my family is notorious for black-light-glaring morbidity and I'm the worst yet, writing hundreds of poems and tons of short fiction about death, death, death... Sometimes I scare the crap out of people.

In the real world, I'm very positive. I love and care deeply about animals, Native American rights, I'm very sociopolitically progressive and care very deeply about all kinds of issues. I've never committed a crime nor done anything evil to anybody. My fuzzy cat and I love each other very much.

So, why is it that when I'm sojourning in the world of The Galaxy Far, Far Away that I desperately want to be the Death Star Gunner (and hear the screams of the Alderaanians)... be a Sith Lord and abuse the crap out of my Force Choke power on everything that moves... shoot down Rebel transports full of medics, wounded and civilians with my TIE Interceptor... slaughter temples full of younglings and suck the life out of whole worlds through the power of the Dark Side?

In real life, I'm very anti-authoritarian and pro-Earth. I want good conditions for everybody. I hate cruelty and malice. I hate racism, sexism, phobias, capitalism, warmongery etc. ... yet I fear that in the Galaxy I would make Darth Vader look like Jocasta.

What's wrong with me? Why did I build my Build-Your-Own-Lightsaber as a Sith blade? Why do I imagine billions screaming out in anguish as worlds come apart in the throes of death in the heat of my Death Star Beam? Why do I savor my alter-ego as a Dark Lord? (I have a Rebel one, too, but the Imperial one all too often wins out...)

Be glad, everyone, that Star Wars is here to absorb all these dark energies from me... well, most of them anyway. I'm certain that I would easily fall to the Dark Side if I were to find myself in that distant place in the next moment, and doing great evil.

Or I might just be a smuggler with a Y-1300 and a blaster, an attitude and a Wookie.

What gives? Am I sinister at heart, people?