Still reading the Message Boards - so you don't have to.
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First, right out of the gate:
TV Ads for STAR WARS DVDs Refer to Wookies as Pets - Offensive by spinkm
"I find it hard to believe that George Lucas OK'd this line of advertising.."
That's right, the Saga that gave us "The Empire Strikes Back Underwear" would never. Ever. Do such a thing. Hey - just to clarify, I DID have Ma Wiggum get me a pair, but it was JUST-FOR-THE-T-SHIRT. I swear.

DID OBI-WAN BLOW UP THE DEATH STAR WITH THE FORCE?? by SCRAPINFRAME
Question by deaf gundark: "Hmm, I have a question: Did Princess Leia put her own hair up into cinnamon buns, or did Qui-Gon use the force to do it?" Ya know, deaf gundark is laughing, but don't tell me there's not an EU novel coming out that will soon reveal ALL.

how does Darth Vader poo?! by darthlukeman
"How the heck does darth vader go to the restroom or eat!? maybe his cape covers all the tubes and stuff. or maybe he does it in his chamber thing". Is lukeman referring to Vader's hyperbaric chamber, or something more akin to a late 19th century chamber pot?

LAME!!! DID the stormtroopers kill anyone afer the begining of ep IV???? by DanDaDude102
"After that they got like 0 kills throughout all of eps IV,V,VI. Other then like 3 kills with TIE fighters and 1 ewok kill from a tank!!!!!!!! Whats up with that!?!?!"
Put down those video games, Dan! Back AWAY from the XBOX!!

IS DARTH VADER REALY LUKES FATHER by footprints19671@netzero.net
After a lengthy explanation (using the - waddaya know - using the sources), Captain Yossarian concludes: "....So considering all that, and the fact that the Emperor too acknowledges Luke is Vader's son, it is pretty much 100% true." Yeah, pretty much.

Darth Vaderis NOT a piniata! by Jorgewankenobi96
"remember Luke trying to 'hit'' Vader with his saber.He was [treating] Vader as if he were whacking a piniata! Who agrees?"
Hangover Boy, moderator, responds: "I'm not even sure how to categorize this." I'm reminded of Pedro from Napolean Dynamite, who said, "I don't understand. He say...you're not allowed to smash pinatas that look like real people. But we do it in Mexico all the time."

The Emperor imitates Scotty by Rightstoff
"If it's not IMPERIAL, it's CRAAAP!" Somewhere, Scottish actor Ian McDiarmid is rolling his eyes.

Did Yoda have nothing better to do than watch Anakin kill Tuskens? by Noelemahc
Now, the scene Noelemahc was referring to was Yoda's distant feeling of Anakin's anguish in Episode II. This reply by Brownsville, apparently a Person of Sand, took it upon himself to give us his own point of view, and I found it worth quoting in full:
"Speaking for the 'tusken raiders', or People Of Sand, as we prefer to be called nowadays, we are pleased to see humans discussing the ethics of jedi coming in and slaughtering our women and children willy-nilly. I thought it was all about settling problems amicably. I think carrying a big laser sword about is sometimes a little too tempting...

As nomads, we live on the edge of survival on a harsh desert planet. We may, or may not, have once ruled this world in happier times. Now, we move about on our banthas, scrabbling for food, shunned by alien society and cities, unable to obtain moisture vaporators for agriculture. So sometimes we raid your villages and take a few people away, or take pot-shots at passers-by. It's not like we are slave-traders or anything. We just need fresh protein in our diets. Nothing is wasted, I assure you!

Some people just take things too personally!"

I really like the "nothing is wasted" bit. Very reassuring.

Emergency sirens by otterboy2000
"I need to reinact the destruction of the second Death Star in my basement and need the siren to compliment it."
Should we call Homeland Security on this guy? He may be serious...I should re-read the thread.

Why don't R2 and 3P0 have girlfriends? by jedi stormtrooper5
He begins his post with "...besides the fact that they are robots". Uh, no. No no no no no-no, jedi stormtrooper5. There is no "besides". This one is another interesting "girlfriend" thread, right up there with the rank indignation over Owen calling Beru his girlfriend.

The Republic and Empire were both fiascoes when it came to governing by darthbane2002
Or "When Star Wars Fans Major in Political Science". We've had lawyers, accountants, and now these fellas. Oh how we've grown!

master of light and dark by greensideuser
When speaking of Mastery of the Light and Dark, NO ONE has anything on this guy. Don't forget that.

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