I was sat on the tube this morning and having watched ESB last night was thinking about the scene where Lando Calrissian brings Han, Leia and Chewie to Vader. Vader is sat at a long dining table with Boba Fett standing behind him. Now, for some reason the thought struck me, 'What would Vader and Fett be talking about as they waited for Han and Co. I think it would have been something like this:

BF: Bad luck with that Death Star thing. Guess it must've caused a bit of a mess when the rebels destroyed it. The Emperor couldn't have been too happy. Can you pass the peas please?

DV: Well I'm in the clear. I told Tarkin that it was nothing compared to the power of the force but did he believe me? Mustard?

BF: No thanks. Shame. A real shame. So what's next, think you'll be building another one?

DV: If my master has his way. But anyway, I'm not too bothered. What do you think of my new Star Destroyer eh? Pretty cool isn't it!

BF: I'll say it is. Took me about five days to get myself from the docking bay to the bridge for that meeting we had with all the other guys. By the way, I was meaning to say, that guy with the bug eyes, he was pulling faces behind your back, not sure if you knew. The ham is excellent isn't it.

DV: Really? The force must be strong with that one, I didn't feel a thing.

BF: So, did you know my Dad?

DV: Yep, was there when Mace Windu ended the party for him. Of course I was too busy with some rampant creatures to do it myself.

BF: Oh. So what're you gonna do with Solo?

DV. Use him to try out that big popsicle maker. Once I know it works I'll be using it on my son, er I mean my sunshine, my er only sunshine. It makes me happy to know he'll be brought to the Emperor intact. More wine?

BF: Thanks. Hope you don't mind me asking but how do you talk and breath like that at the same time.

DV: its something I don't like to talk about.

BF: Oh sorry. So, you er, married?

DV: Er yes, I was once, but she died. This chicken is fantastic.

BF: How? If you don't mind me asking.

DV: She er, lost the will to live.

BF: Wow! Not too many go that way do they? My job would be a hell of a lot easier if they all did! Can you pass the pepper.

DV: Quiet, here they come. Get your helmet on quick...