Due to unexpected popular demand and mainly because I was bored on the Tube again I got round to thinking about the Vader/Fett ESB dinner thing again only this time, what would the conversation be about after ROTJ? Yes, for those guys who it matters so much to, I do know they aren't around then, but hey, you asked for it!

DV: So Fett, I'm the second person who's had you for dinner of late.

BF: Very funny. You look pretty cooked yourself.

DV: Yes, it was worth it though. Fried by my master and then roasted by my son, er the sunshine I mean, got a bit of tan if you see what I mean. I'm now fully redeemed and back in everyone's good books though so it was well worth it. I even get to hang out with Obi-Wan and Yoda these days. Considering all the mischief I got up to I never thought they'd speak to me again.

BF: Some people have all the luck! Hey! Hang on, weren't you, weren't you just an old guy? I take my eyes off you for one second and you've had a face lift and your hair done?!!

DV: Its something I'd rather not discuss. Pass the asparagus please.

BF: Oh, like the breathing and talking at the same time thing eh?

DV: Hmmm. Yes.

BF: Why the opaque look? Missing Padme still?

DV: Er, no. Its this Bantha steak. Its a bit rare for me, I should've given it a few more minutes.

BF: Oh let me help you there (points his blaster at the steak). How do you like it?

DV: Medium rare would be fine. I don't like it too overdone. No disintegrations.

BF: As you wish. I hope you don't mind me asking again, but my father, do I look anything like him?

DV: I was thinking after our last meal, there is some resemblance, but I just can't put my finger on it. Maybe its the eyes. No, the nose perhaps? Or even the mouth? Ah, I'm probably just imagining it.

BF: So. Do you have any family resemblances?

DV: I've been told my daughter had my hairstyle for about five minutes.

BF: I didn't know you had a daughter!

DV: Er, neither did I. Shame really, especially as I tortured her, blew up her home planet and then froze her lover before finding out. Thank the Force I never met her, she might've got a little upset.

BF: What about your mother?

DV: Yeah, she might have been upset too considering I left her as a slave for ten years and didn't come to her wedding.

BF: No, I mean do you look like her?

DV: Well considering she's been dead for over twenty years I probably do. Er, I hate to ask but are you sure you're comfortable sitting with that missile on your back?

BF: Yeah, its fine. The real problem is when the rocket pack. Handy on a bad date though. If I feel like splitting real fast I just distract her and head for the sky when she ain't looking. If she's really boring I just put my hand on hers across the table, all romantic like, and then fire my arm rocket at her face.

DV: Impressive, most impressive. Its been a while since I've been on a date. Do you think you could set me up with anyone.

BF: Come to think of it I do know a gorgeous asthmatic who you'd be crazy about! I'll see if she's free tomorrow night! Only thing is she has a kid.

DV: A youngling, eh? Er, probably best if I don't then. Kids don't seem to like me. Especially after that whole Jedi Temple thing...

BF: Shame. Well thanks for inviting me over, we must do this again sometime.

DV: Vaat? Going already?

BF: Yeah, got a meeting with that bandage guy.