Yes. Last night, after months of eager anticipation, I, Bai, have finally seen 300. It was an incredible movie going experience; full of battle, and beautifully designed backdrops. Truly I could not have had a better time this year in the movies.

There will be some spoilers in this blog.

Now. We all know the purpose of a blog like this. Review. Of course I won't go into too much detail about the movie. All I would like to do is criticize the critics.
No critics names or place of work will be revealed. Opinions only.


First off. Many claim that 300 is a terrible historical epic. This is based on the fact that there is very little realism in several aspects of the film. For example. The Spartans wear no armor except for shields, helmets, and greaves; and no clothing except for expertly placed leather underwear. (shin guards for those who don't know the term 'greaves'). It is common knowledge that Spartans, in real life, wore full bronze or leather body armor.

The fact that the Spartan men throughout 300 wear little more than underwear and cloaks was also met with criticism. Some even said that it was too much of a spectacle. It is my opinion that the Spartans lack of clothing play the role of a symbol that says, "I am perfect. I don't need any body armor. My body, and the man beside are my protection. What's yours?"
Of course. I have been wrong. From time to time.

Terrain in 300 came under fire as well. The landscape doesn't look anything like Greece, or Thermopylae; rather it looks like pages from the graphic novel. I love that aspect. The fact that every scene looks something out of a painting. Obviously. The background and terrain weren't accurate: but anyone who knows Greece knows that it is basically one giant mountain range. 300 hundred just elaborates on this a little. Also. Those who have seen the gully at thermopylae know that it is narrow; but no where near as steep as the 'chasm' seen in 300.

The Persians were pulled apart by Critics, and Spartans. Xerxes looks more like a contemporary goth than a Persian king. Agreed. Xerxes looks like a giant pin ball, and I mean giant. But one must look at the Persians as Frank miller explains it. The Persians looked strange to the Spartans in reality, so what better way to alienate them from the Greeks than to have Xerxes' entire body pierced.

The Spartans masculinity and ethics came into question in many reviews. The Spartan view of death on the battlefield as being the highest glory is reminiscent of imperial Japan, and is too much for todays warring world.. Also the movie tried it's best to shy from the blatantly homosexual side of Greece. Well. That certainly sounds like crap to me. I can't believe that anyone could think of comparing Sparta to Japan. Of course their honor code is very similar, but their society is anything but. The Spartans toss away any baby not seen as fit for training, whereas the Japanese had more tolerance for them. Spartans trained at home since the ability to walk, and then leave home at age seven to be put through over a decade of harsh training. I haven't read anything that implies the same in Japanese culture.
As far as trying to stay away from homosexual aspect of Greece. Well, they didn't. One of the line in 300 calls the Athenians Boy lovers; Which of course they were. But the aspect of all of Greece being a homosexual state is just wrong. Homosexuality was reserved for the upper crust of society, and was seen as unseemly by the majority of the populace. In fact, the Spartans saw the men as the sexual property of their women and so homosexuality was rare in Sparta.

As far as historical epic goes 300 is lacking. But, in originality and artistic flare it was wonderful. But then again. look back at all of the other Historically accurate epics of the last 3 years such as Troy; Alexander, and Kingdom of Heaven, and gauge how good they were.

There are still many aspects of the film that I will let you discover for yourselves.

After all. It is far better a thing to have a beautiful and elaborate tale based on the event, that it is to have an accurate movie with a terrible story.

Men, some of the parts I left out are really hot. GO SEE 300.