
My still:
YODA The Great One
As we all know, our beloved Jedi Master Yoda lived for nearly 900 years, beginning his long career as a Jedi approximately a century after Darth Bane sent the Sith Order into hiding. Yoda trained new Jedi for nearly 8 centuries. Then, after training Ki-Adi-Mundi to knighthood, he retired from direct Master-Padawan coaching and became staff instructor at the Jedi Temple, teaching the ways of the Force to young Jedi initiates.
I could go on and on about the "facts" of Yoda's life, we as Star Wars fans are very familiar with how the Saga was told.....but wouldn't you like to know the private life of Yoda? What went on in his life "off the clock"? Wouldn't you love to learn of his youth, how he looked as a young Jedi, and hear stories about his hobbies and talents?
Well grab a coke and a snack, sit down, and I'll tell you stories that the Jedi Council had hidden away from the entire galaxy....until NOW.
The year was 896 B.B.Y. (before the battle of Yavin) when
baby Yoda came into this world. His parents loved and spoiled him as he was their only child. His days home with mom included playtime, nap time, cartoon time and of course he loved lounging and meditating even then.
During his toddler years he
learned to swim down at the YMJA (Young Man's Jedi Association) , ignoring the others who constantly made fun of his large ears. His determination was like no other and was voted top swimmer in the Pollywog Program. This success made him very popular with the other children and they stopped making fun of his ears all together.
Yoda enjoyed school, and despite his "backwards talking" speech impediment (which has since been attributed to a faulty Teaching Droid)
graduated valedictorian of his class, and was voted most popular his senior year. After High School though, he decided, to the dismay of his parents that college would have to wait.
His dream had always been to go to California and start a rock a band and to him, THERE WAS NO TRY.
He did just that. When he arrived in LA he rented a beach house and met a guy at a popular local club named Greggie. Together they formed a band called the Circle Jerks. He was the hottest guy in LA and their band soon was booking gigs weekly. There were some wild nights which we' wont go into. When they started partying a bit too much Yoda eventually decided the band had become to "Sithy" and thought it was time to settle down, and so the band broke up. (Greggie by the way, was Greg Hetson, who later went on to be the guitarist for Bad Religion.)
Yoda met some new friends there in Hermosa Beach though, who took him snowboarding one day. He instantly knew this was to be
his next adventure. He moved up to Mammoth with some buddies and became well known in the snowboarding crowd. His nickname soon became "Da Bomb," after winning numerous slaloms (downhill races) and pulling off some killer half pipes! The Mick Twist (a 180 degree turn w/a front flip) was his specialty, executing it perfectly in the Winter Olympics, and winning the gold!
Yoda was quite the ladies man and had dated numerous women including some
Hollywood starlets, before eventually deciding to settle down and
get married to a young Jedi named Yaddle.
Yoda & Yaddle lived happily together for many years and even served on the Jedi Council together, but her eventual frustration with Yoda's Jedi commitments and the fact that he wouldn't give her the child she so desperately wanted led to their eventual divorce and her leaving the Council all together.
We all know that after Order 66 and the Fall of the Republic that Yoda went into exile on Dagobah; what's never been revealed until now is that he wasn't entirely alone there. After the divorce, Yoda did manage to keep one small possession that he took with him to Kashyyk during The Clone Wars and so had with him in his escape pod to Dagobah...
his pet kitty Yodle.
It was Yodle's eventual passing that drove Yoda to the almost senile state that Luke Skywalker discovered him in after his escape from Hoth, but it was Yoda's discovery that Luke was indeed the lost son of Anakin Skywalker that brought him out of his madness and helped him once again claim his Mastery of The Force and train Luke in the ways of the Jedi....and the rest, as they say, is history!
(I'd like thank
DJ MAUL for helping me with the photoshop pics. He has proven once again to be a true friend, the truest. Thank you Deej.