
Being as it is Father's day, I wonder what it would be like to have Darth Vader as your father. Let's explore this in our real world, in our time. Here follows a series of amusing situations in which it would be awesome for Vader to be your Dad.
Scenario 1: Your first day at school, the most popular kid shows off his new 200 dollar sneakers and fancy new MP3 Player.
Solution: You show off your fancy new red lightsaber and your ability to crush the kid's MP3 Player with your mind.
Scenario 2: You're a junior in high school and the other kids are showing off their hot hooked up sports cars.
Solution: You show off your custom TIE Advanced by destroying their sports cars.
Scenario 3: You are called into the principal's office for fighting, and your father is called in.
Solution: Lord Vader congratulates you on beating up another kid without ever touching him. When the principal protests, Vader uses the Force to chokeslam him on his desk.
Scenario 4: You are on the football team, and it is the State Championship.
Solution: Vader watches from the grandstand and uses the Force to knock the ball out of the opposing quarterback's hands every time, and guides the ball to always miss a field goal.
Scenario 5: You compete with another boy over a girl. He impresses her by taking her golfing on his father's Golf course.
Solution: You impress her by taking her on your father's Death Star and destroying the other father's golf course from orbit.
Scenario 6: It is near Christmas, and being a busy Dark Lord of the Sith Vader has waited until the last minute to get what you wanted.
Solution: The store has just sold out, but Vader gets one from a custmer willing to give his up after threatening to level the building.
And finally.......
Scenario 7: After graduating college, you get a cushy corporate job. Your co-workers are embarrased and receive scoldings from the boss when their fathers visit.
Solution: When your father visits he inspires fear and respect which then translates to you. He also has a few words with your boss which always end up with your boss having to take a week's sick leave for some reason.