Epic battles between good and evil. Timeless themes of heroism and redemption. Spousal abuse and brother/sister makeout sessions? Robbing the cradle?

It seems that every aspect of Star Wars follows the classical approach of storytelling, the age-old approach of great adventure, except in one aspect: romances. Generally in these classic tales the great hero rescues the damsel in distress or is rewarded with a beautiful princess for serving her father. Not so in Star Wars. In fact, romances in the saga are one of its most unique aspects, a fact that sets them apart from other epics of fantasy and adventure.

Look at the arc of Anakin and Padme. Sure, in the middle of their relationship it's the typical "guy likes girl, girl pretends not to like guy, then tells him she likes him" stuff. But the beginning and end of their relationship is hardly typical. Though playing a 14 year old queen in TPM, Natalie Portman was far more mature than Jake Lloyd at the time. They didn't hook up until they were older, but still didn't anyone find it a little creepy that this teenage girl was going to be the mother of this nine year old kid's children? Food for thought.

And of course, look at the end of their relationship. For a guy who was willing to betray everything and slaughter hundreds of innocent people to save his precious girl, Anakin was certainly pretty abusive when things didn't go his way. Sure he didn't intend to kill Padme, but he did a number on her throat regardless.

Move on to the classic trilogy. Look at Luke and Leia, brother and sister. Luke certainly had the hots for her in ANH, and that kiss in ESB was downright disturbing. And what's worse was that in a deleted scene Luke was supposed to confess his feelings to Leia! Yuck...........

It turns out the most functional relationship is the one that appears the most dysfunctional: the scoundrel and the princess, Han and Leia. Not the main hero who battle evil, but the rogueish pirate seeking redemption. But at the same time, he gets this Luke love triangle in his head, so even in ROTJ we are subject to icky stuff. Luckily Luke and Leia sorted that stuff out by then.

Am I off my rocker or on the money?

What do you guys think about the romances of Star Wars?