jt: General Grievous, I'd like to begin by thanking you for gracing us with a few moments of your time. An individual of your stature is certainly very busy. Rumor has it that you were once a Kaleesh warlord, now turned droid...what can you tell us about that?

GG: *cough, cough* Ninety percent mechanical and ten percent flesh, I am often mistaken for a droid. You would do well to avoid such an implication in the future, for it will prove to be quite insulting to me, and quite fatal to you.

jt: *squirms uncomfortably in chair* I apologize. Would you like to give us a brief synopsis of your background?

GG: Well, I established my reputation as a warlord during a particularly vicious skirmish between the Kaleesh and the Huk. *cough, cough* To make a long story short, I was involved in a near-fatal shuttle crash. My vital organs and spinal cord were salvaged and transferred into the armor you see before you today.

jt: And quite an interesting armor it is! Your public is absolutely fascinated with your new look! I'm sure that your new body has really given you an edge in battle!

GG: Certainly! My 2 arms can split in half and turn into 4, allowing me to wield several weapons at once. My feet are metallic and strong, allowing me to effectively stamp out the life of whichever enemy I so please. My own eyes have been enhanced with cybernetic implants, making my vision keener than that of my opponents. Plus, I have heightened speed, strength, endurance, and coordination. Now that I've been training in the Jedi arts with Count Dooku--

jt: If I may interrupt for a moment, General Grievous, I'm glad you mentioned that because it actually leads into the next question on my list. Being that Count Dooku is a Sith Lord, and you're training under him, does that make you a Sith also?

GG: No.

jt: And yet, you seem to embrace the Sith ideals: you hate the Jedi, you're determined to destroy them, you actually collect the sabers of the Jedi you've defeated...what, then, is the essential difference between you and your average Sith?

GG: The Sith are an ancient order of Force-practitioners. I, however, am not Force-sensitive.

jt: Thank you for that clarification. General Grievous, I understand that you recently swept into the Republic Capitol and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine. For an individual of your experience, would you say that it was a difficult venture?

GG: It was not without it's mishaps, but all-in-all, I'd say the abduction went rather smoothly.

jt: Mmmm-hmmm, and when the Jedi came to the Chancellor's rescue, how did that make you feel?

GG: Jedi scum! One day I'll add their lightsabers to my collection!

jt: I see. So now you're hiding here in the outer-rim. It certainly wasn't easy to find you! Is there any special reason why you chose to take sanctuary on the world of Utapau?

GG: It's easy to amass weapons here and to fortify my position against any invading Republic forces.

jt: Thank you, General Grievous. I won't impose upon your time any longer. Just one last question: Would you mind posing for a publicity photo?

GG: I'm ready for my close-up!***

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen; straight from the Cyborg's mouth. Thank you for joining us!

*hugs & kisses*
-Tee





***See upper right-hand corner.